Words Meet Heartbeats
by Emeli Thorne
Summary: Arranged marriage AU: After many years of bad blood, the heads of SAMCRO and SAMBEL charters decide it is high time they ended it for good. To bring their charters closer together, Nero Padilla and Filip "Chibs" Telford make a decision: Their children, Jax and Tara, are to marry. Sounds wonderful, doesn't it? The only problem: They sort of hate each other.
1. She Wears a not White Dress and I'm a Pe

**_A/N_**_: Hi guys :D So, this idea popped into my head this afternoon and it just wouldn't leave me alone. So, here it is: another Jax/Tara AU. Inspired by some Olicity fics I've read recently which are awesome!_

**_I CALL DIBS ON THIS_**_! I haven't seen any Jax/Tara AUs of this sort, so I take full credit for coming up with it and writing it._

_Also: Tara has an English accent in this story and her family an Irish one. Don't worry, it will be explained later on._

**_Summary_**_: Arranged marriage!AU: After many years of bad blood, the heads of SAMCRO and SAMBEL charters decide it is high time they ended it for good. To bring their charters closer together, Nero Padilla and Filip "Chibs" Telford make a decision: Their children, Jax and Tara, are to marry. Sounds wonderful, doesn't it? The only problem: They sort of hate each other._

_Story title from the Parachute's song Words Meet Heartbeats._

**_Disclaimer: I do not own Sons of Anarchy or anything related to it. I am not making any profit from this transformative work. Written for entertainment purposes only. My characters are my own._**

_Sorry for typos and mistakes._

_Happy reading :3_

* * *

**_Words Meet Heartbeats_**

**She Wears a not White Dress and I'm a Penguin**

"Mother, I can't believe you're making me do this!" – Tara whined for the hundredth time that day, sitting in front of the vanity table in her knee-length crème dress which was adorned with intricate patterns of lace at the front. She was wearing black pumps that were already starting to pinch her toes.

She didn't want to wear a traditional wedding dress. Because, after all, this wasn't a traditional wedding.

Her cousin McKenna was doing her hair. It was supposed to be a nice French braid, its tail pushed inside the braid so it looked elegant, but Tara was already too irritated to sit still, and so McKenna had to redo it three times already.

"Tara, we've been over this. Your father has made a promise." – her mother responded from the rocking chair she was sitting on, observing her daughter getting ready for her big day. She saw her daughter roll her eyes in the mirror.

"This is beyond stupid! It's like we're in the sixteenth century, for Christ's sake! Am I not an adult? Should I not have my own voice? But, no." – Tara spoke her frustration and utter discontent. She kept shaking her head, making it difficult for McKenna to braid her hair, the blonde sighing in exasperation.

"Please, sit still for once!" - McKenna pleaded, sighing deeply.

"Tara, darling." – her mother said softly, trying to speak to her, but Tara just continued with her rant.

"No, Tara. _Your _opinion and _your_ choices don't matter. Even if this is _your_ life and _your_-"

"Enough!" – her mother yelled this time, standing up in all her intimidating glory. Her raven hair was swept to the side and curled. She wore dark blue dress with twisted front that suited her chocolate complexion and a pair of killer heels. -"I will not have you questioning us!"

Then she lowered her voice and came behind Tara, resting her hands on her shoulders. McKenna moved to the side. Meeting her daughter's eyes in the mirror, with a small smile she said:

"I know that this might be hard for you."

Tara mouthed to say something, her head already turning, but her mother cut her off.

"It _is_ hard for you. But we thought it was the right thing to do."

She tapped on Tara's shoulder and Tara turned her body. Her mother took her hands in hers and rubbed them soothingly.

"Tara, you are the most precious in this life that your father and I have. Do you really think we would force you to do anything that would harm you? Darling, I assure you, if anything happens to you, your father will have your husband's, _you know_, chopped off."

All three women chuckled at that and the tension in the room dropped. Fiona kissed her daughter's cheek.

"I promise you, darling. You will change your mind about him soon enough." - her words bore some kind of mystery, one that Tara was unaware of and possible not interested in understanding. "I'll go see if everything's ready."- she then added with a small smile on her face, caressing her daughter's cheek.

She left the room as Tara turned to the mirror again, and McKenna, a short blonde in a red sleeveless dress, resumed braiding Tara's hair.

"You can't fool me, you know." – McKenna raised her eyebrow at Tara's defeated expression in the mirror. Tara looked back at her, frustration clear on her face.

"I know. But my mother is not as insightful as you are." – Tara smiled weakly, already imagining how horrible her life is bound to be alongside that ... that...

She couldn't even think of a name for him. Calling him her future husband sounded awful and it made her painfully aware that her life would not be the same after this day. Sure, in these past few months she'd thought about bailing on this 'obligation' more than once. But her parents knew her and her mother tried, really tried to explain the situation.

Only together, _united_, could the Tellers and the Telfords rise above years of countless deaths, both necessary and unnecessary, and form a new, stronger family. One that is untainted by blood, misunderstandings, and ill fate of its members.

"If it's any consolation, I don't think he's _that_ bad. Maybe with time, you'll grow to like him."

McKenna seemed enthusiastic about the whole idea of marriage, so much so, that she personally chose Tara's dress when the latter refused to take any part in the preparations. She only instructed her favourite cousin not to dare and pick a white dress. McKenna agreed and, knowing Tara's taste, she chose the first dress that just screamed_ I-am-getting-married-but-I-don't-want-to-but-I-have-to-and-want-to-look-beautiful-nonetheless. _Of course, she wasn't wrong because Tara loved the dress even though she hated the occasion.

"Yeah, when pigs fly! You know what? Just leave it."

Tara pushed McKenna's hands away and disentangled the almost completed braid. She then gathered her hair, made a bun and tied it with a crème ribbon.

"There. I can't take it any longer." - she said, smoothing out her hair. -"All these preparations, this pomp. I'm sick of it."

She stood up and started pacing up and down the room, all the while gesturing with her hands. She was practically yelling at this point, and McKenna could do nothing but let her let off steam. Although McKenna understood Tara's reaction to the whole ordeal, the blonde couldn't help but think that maybe, _just _maybe, Tara was exaggerating a bit.

"He is the most annoying person I have ever met. I cannot emphasise that enough. He has the manners of a monkey, and even that is an insult to the monkey. He is insufferable. I -I" – she plopped onto the white sofa, sighing in desperation. -"I don't think I can do this, McKenna."

_Would she be acting like this if someone else was in question, and not Jax?_ McKenna shook her head, her blonde wavy ponytail swaying to the side as she smiled and sat next to Tara. Taking Tara's hand, she began to speak.

"If I know anyone that is brave and doesn't let anyone mess with them, it's you. So, whatever happens, I know that you will handle him in the best way you can. If he's indeed as horrible as you paint him to be."

"Oh there is no doubt about it. He_ is_ horrible. But thank you for trying to reassure me. It does mean a lot to me." - Tara hugged her cousin, tears pooling in her eyes.

"I will miss you. Please, come visit me soon. I have no idea how I'll survive without you and Finn and-"- the last name stayed on her tongue; unspoken, burning her lips and her heart nevertheless.

McKenna hugged her tightly, sensing the inner struggle Tara was going through. -"I will, silly. Don't cry, please. You're going to smudge your makeup. And I don't think we have the time to do it all over again."

They laughed as Tara wiped her cheek with a shaky hand and McKenna rubbed her arm to calm her. Their laughter was cut off by a knock on the door.

"Come in."

It was her mother.

Fiona gestured with her hand. -"Come, it's time."

#############################################################################

"Shit, Ope. I look like a fucking penguin." – Jax complained, pulling at his bowtie and observing his reflection in the mirror with a frown.

His blond hair was slicked back; his mother made him shave and he thought he looked like he was an eighteen-year-old kid, not a twenty-eight-year-old grown ass man. _Like the Princess was going to mind some facial hair_. She had barely spoken to him since they met except to argue with him, so he doubted she'd pay any attention to him now.

Opie laughed throatily, patting him on the back. Just like McKenna, Opie too seemed enthusiastic at the prospect of his best friend getting married. And it seemed like yesterday when they both vowed never to settle down and be pussy-whipped.

"Relax, man. It's not like she'll be lookin' at you. She already hates your guts. Don't think your tux'll be a problem."

Jax narrowed his eyes and punched him in the shoulder, then started re-adjusting his bowtie. It was fucking awful and suffocating.

_Why the fuck did he have to wear it? Oh, right. 'Cause her old man insisted. Fucking Scot._

It wasn't just Chibs that insisted on tradition and formalities. It was also Gemma, Nero, Tara's older brother, Trinity and Tommy... Practically everybody who wasn't getting married and who wasn't supposed to have any saying in this wedding and marriage. Whenever he imagined the wedding, he never imagined it to be like this. So forced, so, unnatural.

Opie re-tied his hair while eyeing Jax, noticing the look on his face. He seemed to be in a world of his own, presumably think about his future. Knowing his friend and all his secrets, Opie could guess what Jax's primary focus was on. Smiling to himself, he mouthed to say something, but changed his mind and swallowed his question.

The door opened suddenly and Nero's head appeared.

"Come on, mijo. It's time."

##############################################################################

There were about two hundred people in the ballroom. Most of them were SAMCRO and SAMBEL members with their families. But apparently, his mother had invited the whole damn town here too. Everyone was dressed nicely and Jax lamented that he wasn't allowed to wear his kutte. He was uncomfortable, his nerves on the edge. Looking around the room, he noticed some familiar faces.

Unser was leaned against the bar talking to Bobby. His sister Trinity and his brother Thomas were talking to some girls Jax didn't recognise. Tara's cousins perhaps.

Gemma, however, was nowhere to be seen. _Strange._

The ballroom was neatly decorated. There were white tablecloths with ridges of golden colour on the tables. Centrepieces with white calla lilies were placed on each table, their smell enveloping the entire hall. Jax's lips turned into a shy smile as he remembered something from his childhood. The chairs were also covered with some white cloth with golden ribbons attached at the back.

Champagne and the food were abundant, along with whiskey, red and white wine and whatnot. But Jax wished nothing more but a can of good old beer.

"Jax! Good, you're here."

He turned towards the voice of his mother, who was dressed in an orange dress, her hair hanging loose around her shoulders, her bangs swept to the side. She took his hand and pulled him towards the flower arch placed in one of the south corners of the ballroom.

"Ma!"– he whined as Gemma started removing invisible threads off his suit jacket and smoothing out creases, making him feel like a five-year-old again. That only made another familiar scene flash in his mind, one he cherished the most and that, for a second, made him grin. But he managed to pull a mask of indifference once more, hoping that he was fooling people. 'cause he sure as hell wasn't fooling himself.

"Be still. Oh, look! There she issss! Oh, she is gorgeous!" – Gemma stopped what she was doing and smiling, looked behind Jax. He turned and saw his soon- to-be wife. She was walking towards him, her arm linked with her father's.

He didn't like her when he met her and he didn't like her now. Or that's what he kept telling himself. 'cause fuck!, she looked amazing. Her dress was low-cut, with lace and shit, that turned him on. Her legs were long and toned and the way she swayed her hips... He bit his lip and closed his eyes for a second just to compose himself.

The minute his gaze fell on her face, his horniness disappeared in a second as the feeling of uneasiness settled in his stomach. The look on her face told him how much she hated it all. Her eyes seemed full of sadness and resentment that Jax couldn't help but think that she must hate him too because he was another participant in this 'game'.

_I hate it too, Knowles, _he thought sadly.

He never planned on getting married. Not after his heart was broken and he lost all hope of happiness (it was an overdramatic thought, he was aware, but that's the only way he could explain how he felt).

And he never planned on marrying a woman he didn't even know, because he had no idea who Tara Telford Knowles was. A few times that they exchanged words were enough for them to start fighting because he just couldn't keep his mouth shut around her, and his brain would always think the worst things and his mouth would just go with it. Once, she even slapped him because of that. Other times she used insults to defend herself.

He had no idea how they were going to live together if they already got along like cat and dog.

He stood silently on the left side of the flower arch, and Thomas soon came to stand next to him, wiggling his eyebrows as if suggesting something. Trinity stood behind him, holding a small bouquet in her hands. Gemma and Nero linked their hands and moved to stand next to her all the while smiling widely.

Tara's mum stood on the right side, along with one of Tara's cousins whose name he couldn't remember but knew for sure that at least she didn't hate him.

Tara and Chibs finally reached him. Jax felt a weird sensation in his belly, some kind of weird heat spreading throughout his body and eventually reaching his cheeks painting them crimson. He swallowed hard trying to get his nerves under control. Chibs kissed his daughter's cheek tenderly and Jax saw a tear fall down her cheek. Before he knew it, he was reaching up to brush her cheek. He mentally kicked himself to stop the movement.

Chibs turned to Jax and rested his hands on his shoulders, eyeing him warily for a few moments.

"Jackie boy, I give you my treasure, my world, my beautiful Tara. You take care of her, son."- Chibs's unspoken threat hung in the air as Jax nodded weakly, hoping that this shit of a ceremony and party would be over soon so he could get drunk.

He took Tara's hand in his, and for a moment he felt the softness of her skin against his rough one. But all too quickly she pulled it away from his grasp. Tara leaned closer to him and whispered, her warm breath against his ear sending shivers down his spine:

"If you think you fooled me like you fooled my father, you're mistaken. _Penguin_."

Jax's jaw clenched as Tara stepped back and smiled sourly at him. He bit down his tongue to stop himself from answering her insult.

"Shall we start?" – the official asked and everyone nodded.

Tara turned to him and Jax followed, barely containing his anger, feeling hundreds of eyes on him. That made him even more uncomfortable and once again, he just wished all of it to be over.

_Who the fuck does she think she is? Calling him a penguin... _Damn it, he felt like one in this stupid tux, stupid shiny shoes, with his hair slicked back like a cow licked it for him and it just...

"Dearly beloved, we've gathered here today..."

##############################################################################

The ceremony was brief and somewhat awkward, what with their improvised vows and the weirdest kiss ever. Apparently, Tara was in as much hurry to end it as he was.

Then they had to take pictures with their families, endure some heart-warming (read: I-want-to-puke) speeches how his and Tara's marriage was going to unite the two charters and how they could finally bury the hatchet.

_Yeah, right. At the cost of me having to spend my life with this grumpy cat._

"Ok, kids. Now, the first dance."

_Dance? Oh, right._

He reached for Tara's hand, but yet again she pulled it away and made her way to the centre of the ballroom alone. He followed her, glancing to the side and catching his mother's disapproving look. He shrugged. There wasn't much he could do to appease Gemma lately.

The song, _Can't Take My Eyes off of You, _started and Jax took Tara's hand in his, as she placed her other hand on his shoulder. His arm came around her waist, resting on her lower back. He felt he squirm a bit, avoiding his gaze and letting out deep sighs.

They started swaying to the music, not even looking at each other. For a moment there, Jax wondered what they must look like. _Could people see, sense, their discomfort around each other?_

"Teller, I'm not going to repeat myself. If your hand comes anywhere near my arse, I'll punch you in the face and I won't care if everyone sees it."- she said, lifting her head. His baby blue eyes met her green ones, which were filled with fury.

He immediately moved his hand up albeit with a chuckle, resting it a bit higher than the last time. _Damn it, he thought that at least on this day she wouldn't be as grumpy._

"Feisty, are we?" - he joked, wanting to lighten up the gloomy mood that seemed to have set between them.

She cast him a glare in what looked like 'shut the fuck up' manner.

"Let's get one thing clear: I don't like you. I'm doing this for my father. So don't you dare even think for a second that _this_ is going to be a real marriage."

_Ok. I've had it._

"Knowles, let's get one thing clear." – he said, pulling her flush against him and whispering in her ear, –" I don't like you either. I'm doing this for _my _father. Besides, I can get better anytime I want. I don't need you."

He heard her chuckle as she pulled away from his grasp and narrowed her eyes at him, gesturing with her hand.

"If you're referring to one of those croweaters or however you call them here, I assure you, they've got nothing on me. But I'm glad we cleared things up. And, I hate this song."

She smiled viciously and walked away, leaving him stunned and furious.

_Did she really need to sway her hips so much? Fuck, I need a beer._

(Soooo? What do we think? Do we want more? Leave me some feedback, please. Love you all xoxo)


	2. This Is a Nightmare!

**A/N: **OMG you guys! I've received so many positive reviews! I'm overwhelmed. It just motivated me to write this chapter as quickly as possible. Thank you all so so much for your support, you rock!

**Note:**

**Tara's brother is played by Colin Donnell **

**Tommy is played by Travis Fimmel**

**McKenna by Emily Bett Rickards**

This is all for future reference so you know what they all look like :D

I hope you like my choices. Also, don't forget that Tara has an English accent. Think Tom Hiddleston/Benedict Cumberbatch kind of accent.

Sorry for typos and mistakes.

Happy reading :3

* * *

**This Is a Nightmare!**

After leaving dumbfounded Jax on the dance floor, Tara went to the bar, resolute to drink herself into oblivion. At the time, it seemed like the only way she would be able to endure this day. She was already mildly irritated with how beautiful the ballroom looked and how everything, _except for the music_, was amazing. She allowed herself a moment of weakness and imagined it was the happiest day of her life. It was just a moment and then reality struck her. It was all too good to be genuine.

_Too bad this wasn't a real wedding._

Well, it was, just not the kind she had expected or had dreamt of since she was a little girl.

When she was six years old, her father Filip sent her off to an all-girls boarding school in England, where she had stayed until she was eighteen. Then, she enrolled in a college and later, she became a journalist. As much as her father frowned up her choice of future vocation, it was better than to have her in constant danger.

Thanks to that, she wasn't exposed to the sins and bad ways of SAMBEL. Of course, she knew almost all the members since there were occasions when they would all gather like birthdays, weddings, and other happy occasions, but also some unhappy ones. They were all her family. However, her father preferred to keep her as far away from SAMBEL as possible, to the utmost content of her mother.

Just a few months before, though, that changed.

Tara remembered that day like it was yesterday, since it was the day her destiny was sealed. Ok, she was a bit dramatic, though it most definitely seemed like that to her, no matter how much her father and mother tried to sugar-coat it.

She was in her office, working on a story about technological advances of the twenty-first century, completely engrossed in her research when her phone rang. She answered it, not having the foggiest idea that one phone call would alter her entire future. Ok, now this wasn't dramatising; it was the truth.

Today, more than any other day, she wished she hadn't answered. However, even if she hadn't, there was no way of getting out of this. It's not like anyone asked her what she wanted or thought of this sudden marriage.

She stomped to the bar and ordered a glass of red wine. Sitting on the bar stool (why was there a stool at the bar in a ballroom?) and crossing her legs, she quickly scanned the room.

Everyone seemed to be having a great time. Everyone, save for her, of course. McKenna looked especially radiant and Tara really fought not to cry. She loved McKenna like she was her own flesh and blood and to not have her by her side in what was promising to be the worst period of her life, hurt her deeply.

The bartender handed her the drink and she thanked him, quickly taking a few sips. The wine was her favourite one and she made sure to savour each drop as it slid down her throat.

"You don't look like you're havin' fun at your own wedding."

She jumped upon hearing Finn's voice. _Why does he always have to sneak up like that?_ Her brother sat on the stool next to her, unbuttoning his jacket. Tara smiled warmly at him, leaning forward to kiss his cheek.

"Oh, Finnegan. I just wish our father didn't come up with this absurd idea. I feel like a fool."- complained Tara, taking another sip of the wine, then twirling the glass, the liquid in it moving in a circular motion, splashing the walls of the glass.

Finn's arm came around her shoulders and she felt like a little girl again, when Finn used to defend her from the bullies and console her when she was sad.

"You aren't a fool. And I admit, this is pretty stupid, but it's the way they decided to resolve their issues. And you know how much those had cost us in the past."

Tara shuddered as an all too familiar ache cut through her heart. _She was not going to cry. No, no way._

"I know."- came her barely audible answer as memories threatened to tumble down the walls she'd built in her mind to prevent them from hurting her again.

"Then you also know that this is going to strengthen our families, heal old wounds. They would've made the same arrangement for me had Trinity been older. It's the way this is, they way things are handled."

"At the cost of my own happiness, apparently. This is my life, Finn. I'm the one who's going to have to spend her life with a Jacksonass over there."- she nodded towards the buffet and sure enough, there was Jax, with a beer in his hand, laughing like a fool with her cousins Alec and Bran.

The two ten-year-olds were stuffing food in their mouths as Jax observed them and occasionally stuffed something in his mouth as well, but doing it in the most disgusting way possible. Tara cringed at the sight.

Finn raised his brows in surprise then burst out laughing. Tara smacked his arm, but she too laughed.

"At least you won't be bored."

She bowed her head, her gaze plastered on the shaking liquid in her glass.

"No, I'll be embarrassed by him." - she replied bitterly.

Finn continued laughing to Tara's great dismay.

"Finnegan Telford, you stop laughing right now. This is no laughing matter. This is serious. How am I supposed to be with someone I don't even know?"

Finn got up and stood in front of her, taking her hands in his. He kissed them softly.

"My gorgeous baby sister, you are a force to reckon with. And I know that if anything happens, you'll know how to take care of things by yourself. Besides, you'll have plenty of time to get to know him. And if he is indeed a Jacksonass, I'm sure you'll straighten him out."

He pecked her cheek and left all too soon. Tara watched him sneak up behind McKenna, and moments later, they were on the dance floor. Tara narrowed her eyes at the pair, feeling like there was more to them than met the eye, but she decided not to think about it. For now at least. Sighing, she turned to her glass again.

"You're the only one here that understands me." - she murmured.

"Sorry, were you talkin' to me?" - the bartender, a short bald man, asked.

Tara shook her head, lifting the glass to her lips.

"No, I was talking to my friend here, Red. He's been really helpful."

The man chuckled and went his way, leaving Tara to drown her sorrows.

###############################################################################

"How many egg rolls can you stuff in your mouth?" - Alec asked Jax.

"Don't know. Never tried to stuff my mouth with egg rolls before."

He was drinking his beer and tugging at his bowtie, which had indeed started to choke him.

_Maybe she hexed it._

He glanced over to Tara and noticed how off-putting her posture was. She was holding a glass of wine in her hand and it looked like she was talking to it.

_Great. Aside from being annoying, she's also one sandwich short of a picnic._

He shook his head in despair, but his eyes still bore some warmth after he tore his gaze from her, a small smile playing on his lips.

There was nothing that Jax Teller loved more than SAMCRO, his kutte, and his bike. He would do anything for his club, anything but hooking up with some crazy chick.

And now, not only did he not hook up with her, but to his utmost disappointment, he was married to her. Ok, maybe he was exaggerating, just bit.

A few months back, Nero, his stepfather, informed him that the president of the SAMBEL charter and he had come to an agreement. To stop all the unnecessary bloodshed caused by their business with True IRA in the past, they had decided to unite their two families. It was to show the unity of the two clubs. Starting things over or something like that.

Jax had no idea what that meant, but soon enough, he found out.

Two months after that, Chibs, his wife Fiona, his son Finn, and Jax's future wife came to Charming.

As soon as he saw her, Jax knew she was trouble, but dammit, he never thought she'd be so insufferable. Though, he couldn't blame her for everything. He knew he made some mistakes along the way, mistakes he was ashamed of now.

He finished his beer and took the damn bowtie off, then walked up to Juice and Happy. The two were goofing around and Jax gladly joined them, wanting to forget just how miserable he felt.

###############################################################################

Much later that night, Tara was dragged to the main table where her parents, Jax's family, and Jax were already seated.

She had been successful in avoiding Jax all day, even though her mother kept giving her the stink eye. She hung out with her brother and McKenna, wanting to take advantage of the time they had since her family was supposed to leave soon, a fact Tara struggled to accept.

_Alone, alone._

The word kept floating round her mind. _I'm going to be all alone after they leave. Alone in that damn town._

"It's time you two head to the hotel." - Gemma said to Jax and her, taking their hands and pulling them into a hug.

"You two look beautiful together. Though I wish you'd shaved properly, Jax." - Gemma patted his cheek as Jax leaned his head away from her. He was clearly uncomfortable, something Tara noticed and couldn't help but enjoy.

"Even if you shave an ape, it's still going to be an ape."- Tara muttered under breath, her arms crossed on her chest as she waited to finally leave the party.

Jax turned his face to her, a smug grin on his face.

"Well, a stuck-up princess is always going to be stuck-up."

She elbowed him in the ribs, earning a pat on the back from Opie and Thomas. Her father and Finn laughed and she wished nothing more but to end this disastrous day.

They were led to the limo (_honestly, a limo? What for?_) and after all the hugging and kissing and encouraging, Jax and Tara got into the car which drove them to their hotel.

They drove in silence, both of them absorbed into their own thoughts, decidedly ignoring each other.

################################################################################

The bellboy accompanied them to their floor. He seemed to have noticed the awkward tension between them as they stood a few feet away from each other, not saying a word and just listening to the smooth jazz music coming from the lift's speakers.

The lift let out a loud ping and the door opened. Tara smiled at the young man and exited the lift, heading towards her room.

Just when she was about to slip the key-card to open the door, she noticed Jax leaned casually against the wall, his hands in his trousers.

"What are you doing?" - she asked in confusion, her brows furrowing.

"I'm waiting for you to open the door." - he answered simply, ignoring her glare.

"This is _my_ room. I thought we agreed that you're going to get your own room."

"Well"- he started, standing too close to her that she had to make a step back,-"I tried, but apparently, all the rooms are booked. So, you're stuck with me, _princess_."

Tara narrowed her eyes at him, her jaw clenched. She was sick of his attitude, sick of everything really and here he was, doing all he could to irritate her even more.

"I can't believe this. And stop calling me princess!"- she slipped the key-card in the lock and seconds later they were in the room.

Tara gasped in horror when a heart made of rose petals on the bed and a few candles that were alight, illuminating the room, came into her view.

"Oh, my God! Wh-wh-what in the bloody hell is all this?"- she practically screamed, her mouth agape as she struggled to breathe.

Jax walked past her and plopped into an antique armchair that was set in a corner, his hand on his chest as he laughed. A few strands of his blond hair fell forward, creating a shadow on his face against the dim light of the candles.

"I guess it's our wedding bed." - he spoke through fits of laughter.

"Aaagrh!" - Tara groaned and started collecting the petals and tossing them aggressively into the nearby basket.

"This. Is. _The_. Most. Horrible. Day. In. My. Life." - she yelled, stressing every word she spoke while Jax just leaned back and continued laughing. He was having fun watching her overreacting. To him, it was nothing that serious. Although a feeling in his chest seemed to be telling him otherwise. A feeling he pushed back because there was no way he was getting into that. No, not again.

She turned on the light and went across the room to put out the candles, her heels dipping into the beige coloured carpet.

"Stop laughing! You idiot!"

"I'm goin' to change. Dibs on the left side." - Jax said standing up, already unbuckling his belt.

"What dibs? You're not going to sleep in this bed."

He scowled, cocking his head slightly to the side. - "Oh, yeah? And where will I sleep, princess?"

She propped her hand on her hip in an attempt to look confident. _This is our first fight as a married couple_, she thought and almost laughed but managed to keep her face serious.

"I don't know. But I am not going to sleep in the same bed with you. And don't call me princess."

He grinned smugly, like he was making fun of her. - "Well, you don't have to. I'll sleep in that bed and you sleep wherever you want."

He saw her clench her fists as her expression became enraged.

"I will not sleep on the floor, mind you!" - she yelled, her face red.

"Well, neither will I."- he yelled back,- "So I suggest you think of something while I take off this monkey suit!" - he went to the bathroom and closed the door with a loud thump.

Tara was boiling, but she couldn't think of anything smart to say. - "Well, a monkey suit for a monkey!"

Granted, that wasn't the best comeback, but still.  
################################################################################

After they changed, and by changed it meant Tara taking off her dress and her makeup, brushing her hair and her teeth, and putting on her favourite flannel pyjama, and Jax just taking off his tux, which left him only in his boxers, they started making the bed in silence.

Tara was ignoring him, still angry at how things turned out for her that evening.

"You could have at least worn some t-shirt and some decent track bottoms."

"I like to let my friend here breathe. Besides, wouldn't want to obstruct the view." - he winked at her, clearly savouring these 'precious' moments when he could tease and mock her.

"From where I'm standing, it's not much of a view." - she replied, smiling back at him with the fakest smile she could muster. _There, you conceited prick._

Jax rolled his eyes and started aligning the pillows along the middle of the bed, since Tara wouldn't even consider his proposal of spooning.

_"I will not have your paws anywhere near me!" - _was her response.

He had to admit, he liked to push her buttons. It was too much fun to ever stop.

She turned off the lights and heard Jax fumbling with the covers. She stood by the bed for a few moments, not sure how things were supposed to go from there in her life. She gulped, her palms sweating. _This is weird, too weird. _Slowly, she got into bed, moving away from Jax as far as she could without falling down.

Then they lay in bed, Jax on the left side, Tara on the right. For a while the only sound in the room was their breathing.

"You won't even kiss me goodnight?" - he joked, wanting to ease the tension in the room.

"Fuck off." - was her answer as she turned her back to him and started praying that when she woke up, this would all be a dream.

She heard him chuckle and it just made her even angrier.

_Please, let this be a dream, please!_

(So, how do we feel about this chapter? Leave me reviews, they keep me motivated :D Love you all xoxo)


	3. Let's Get It Started

A/N: Hi, guys :D Gosh, you are amazing. Ff net is lagging a bit, but my e-mail says you left total of 55 reviews which is like wow! Thank you so much for all the follows, favourites, and reviews :3

This chapter is a bit shorter, sorry. I'm trying to improve my style, but it's pretty hard when you don't have time. If you see some weird sentences, just go with it :P

Note: In case you forgot, Tara has a Tom Hiddleston kind of accent :D

Sorry for typos and mistakes.

Happy reading :3

* * *

**Let's Get It Started**

Jax was coming to his senses slowly, feeling the full impact of the previous day. He had a killer headache, his neck itched from that shit bowtie, and he really need a glass of water, because his throat was as dry as a desert. He was lying on his stomach, his leg hanging off on the side of the bed. As he lifted his head slightly and rubbed his face with his hand, he became aware of the cold he felt against his bare back.

He turned, then frowned. There was no duvet covering him. His gaze dropped to Tara, who was all wrapped up in the said duvet.

Apparently, sometime during the night, he or Tara or both of them had got rid of the pillow barrier between them, the pillows now lying in disarray all over the floor. Having no improvised fence between them however didn't affect Tara in the least because Jax found her sleeping in the same position as the last night: as far away from him as possible.

Her head wasn't visible, though the tangled mess of brown locks was visibly spread on her pillow. Her breathing was shallow and she was making noises that sounded vaguely like snoring.

Jax smirked to himself. _So princess wasn't all that princessy_.

He got up slowly as not to wake her up. He lifted his arms up and stretched, then went to the bathroom. After taking a quick shower and brushing his teeth, he put on clean boxers and black track bottoms with white SAMCRO T-shirt. He combed his damp hair with his fingers.

Back in the room, he glanced at sleeping Tara's figure one more time before taking his phone off the charger and going out on the terrace, silently closing the door behind him.

Morning was fresh with fine breeze that rustled the leaves, producing a pleasant melody which was soon joined in by the chirping of birds.

Jax dialled the number, then waited a few moments for the person on the other line to answer.

"Good morning." - a soft female voice said.

"Hi." - Jax said, leaning against the fence. -"You seem happy."

"Of course I am. I'm hearing your voice for the first time in three days. Is it over? How was it?"

Jax sighed, scratching his beard. It was odd talking to Vivian about his wedding now that it was over, even after so many months of talking about it over and over again and figuring out how their relationship would go from then on.

Sure, they planned on telling Tara about them and asking her to keep it a secret a while longer, just until the dust settled. However, Jax hated the mess he'd got himself, Vivian, and for that matter Tara into as well and he was afraid that it would all just come crashing down one day, him being unable to control the whole damn situation.

"Yeah. The wedding was yesterday. The guys got drunk and sang some pathetic love song to us so you can imagine that. Tommy and Trin made fun of me the entire time, mom scolded me for not being chirpy enough, Tara's brother eyed me like he was planning to kill me if I made one bad move on the dancefloor, and to top it all, Tara's ten-year-old cousins stuffed my jacket pockets with freaking egg rolls! I had a blast, I'm sure you can tell. Anyway, we're supposed to go back to Charming in a day or so." – Jax sounded tired and frustrated, but having to reminisce about yesterday, he'd be lying if he said he didn't enjoy himself at least a bit.

Trin gave him a talk about his marriage and how she would always be there for him and how he didn't need to worry about her and Tommy not liking Tara since Trin already saw her as her bestie (Trinity's words, not his). And for the first time since this whole crazy idea was brought up to him, he didn't feel like the marriage was going to be such a burden. Sure it was a moment's thought, but seeing how his family liked Tara and that she liked them too made it seem like the entire experience wasn't going to be all that bad.

Only, once it all ended, Jax feared the impact it would have on all their relationships.

"How's Tara? I imagine she was freaking out, poor girl. I seriously hate the way your families handled this." – Vivian sounded genuinely worried about Tara.

"Well, join the club. And yes, she was freaking out, And guess what? We had a fight last night."

A loud laughter came from the other line. –"Oh my, your first fight as a married couple. What did you guys fight about?"

Jax laughed to himself, a smirk on his face as he bowed his head as to hide it. Seriously?

"Our sleeping arrangements. And don't laugh. I almost ended up sleeping on the floor."

Vivian proceeded to tease him. –"Boo hoo, poor Jax. But seriously, I can't wait to see you. I miss you."

"Yeah, I miss you too. How's work?"

He heard a loud sigh and he could practically see her raking her hand through her hair. –"Well, that asshole Andrews gave me nightshifts. And you know how much I hate those. And we've had more work this week than the entire last month which exhausted me. I just want to crawl into my bed and sleep until you come back."

Jax tried to console her. - "I'm sorry, Viv. I know it's hard, but just think that in a few months he'll be gone and you'll finally catch a break. Now, go get some sleep, ok? We'll talk later. I have to go now anyway. I just wanted to hear from you."

They said their goodbyes, with Vivian promising she would go to sleep but not until she ate something, and ended the call. Jax then went back to the room to wake the Sleeping Beauty up.

##############################################################################

"Tara. Tara, wake up. We're gonna be late." - he shook her shoulder slightly.

"Go away!" – she answered sleepily, pulling the duvet over her head and disappearing completely underneath it.

"They'll be waiting for us. You have to get up." - Jax shook her shoulder again.

"Leave me alone!" - she groaned.

Ok, that's it.

Jax pulled the covers off her body, which earned him a scream and a whole string of curses.

"Why did you do that?"

He just laughed at the furious look on her face.

"You're unbearable!"

Tara jumped off the bed furiously and pushed past him to the bathroom, leaving Jax snickering.

##############################################################################

Half an hour later, she was dressed in a grey knee-length dress with white straps at both sides of it. She put on a coat of mascara and bright lipstick, sprayed some perfume, then tied her hair in a ponytail.

She took her white sandals out of her suitcase and put them on, before walking back into the bathroom to assess her look in the mirror.

The bags under her eyes were a clear proof of how little sleep she got. And it was all 'cause of damn Smug that slept on the other side of the bed that snored the entire night.

Tara tried to wake him, tried to make him stop snoring, but it was futile. The man slept like a log and made noises similar to those of a bear. There had been no chance of her falling asleep. It was only sometime around five o'clock that she finally drifted into the dreamland, completely exhausted.

She turned when she saw Jax leaned against the doorframe.

The Sons of Anarchy kutte was already on him, as were some washed out jeans and white sneakers. He was still wearing the white T- shirt he had on earlier. His blonde hair was slicked back and Tara could smell a faint scent of some fragrance on him. It smelled amazing.

From the corner of her eye she saw a bottle of CK Reveal on the shelf and smiled to herself.

So, he's not a total jackass. He's got some style.

"We need to talk." - he said in all seriousness.

"I agree."

He moved so she could pass and they both sat on the bed and turned towards each other. Tara crossed her legs and straightened her back, whereas Jax put one leg over the other and scratched his beard, going through it with his fingers. Both of them seemed in great need to get something off their chest though neither of them was willing to be the first to talk.

Wanting to get to the point as quickly as possible, Tara decided to go ahead and break the ice.

"So, I wanted to talk to you about this... arrangement we've found ourselves in. Now, I understand you might be-"

"I have a girlfriend." - he deadpanned, meeting her eyes.

Her face showed signs of mild shock. Her mouth was slightly agape, her brows furrowed.

"And it hadn't occurred to you to inform me of this before? How are we going to pretend now?"

She stood up and paced up and down, rubbing her forehead. - "Aagrh, this is so frustrating." - exclaimed Tara.

"I don't see how. Honestly, you're overreacting. I see no problem here. We can be 'married' a few months, put on some show for our folks and then we'll say we weren't getting along. Everyone already knows we can't stand each other. We can just get a divorce then."

"But, but... Why didn't you tell me earlier?"

Jax shook his head in confusion. -"Why would I? Up until now, it wasn't necessary. I had my life, you had yours. Besides, the only reason I'm telling you now is because she's gonna come over sometimes and I don't want you guys being weird with each other. "

She stopped pacing and looked at him with obvious suspicion in her eyes.

"How are you planning to explain another woman, a stranger, coming in and out of our house to your mother?" – she put an emphasis on our, making it clear to Jax that no matter how ridiculous their marriage was to them, it sure as hell wasn't to their families, and certainly not to Gemma, and that his plans weren't as well thought out as he had himself believe. –"Knowing Gemma, she will not be pleased to see things aren't going the way she wants them to. After all, she was the one who single-handedly organised this entire wedding, save for my dress 'cause McKenna wouldn't let her."

He sighed and rolled his eyes at her words, dismissing her worries with a wave of his hand. -"Don't worry about that. We can say she's your friend or something. Mom won't notice anything. You just have to act cool, trust me. Besides, when she realises how bad we are for each other, she'll back off for sure." -Jax seemed quite sure of his plan, which was a big mistake, showing how little he knew his mother. Tara though still had doubts about everything and having Jax drop this new piece of information right now wasn't helping at all.

"You think that will work?" - she asked with obvious hope in her voice, her lips spreading in smile which she tried to cover by biting her lip. Like Jax, Tara had no idea just how persuasive and stubborn Gemma could be, so she let herself be fooled by Jax's enthusiasm and overall carefree attitude when it came to their new life as a fake-yet-very-legally- married couple.

Jax cocked his eyebrow.-"Well, geeze don't get too excited." - he teased even though he himself wasn't all that happy with his plan. There was just something about it...

She sat on the bed again and sighed, resting her hands in her lap. The wheels in her mind worked overtime, processing and planning, calculating her moves, trying to see where this all could lead.

"I'm sorry. I just want all of this to be over as soon as possible. I can't wait to go back home."

The thought of her home and people she left there made her sad. She missed them all so much. Sure, she must look like some spoiled brat but she really wasn't. She only had trouble adjusting to this wave of new people she had met these past few months and seeing how there was no chance in seeing any of her friends any time soon... Well, it made her feel lonely. She had said yes to Jax's plan solely because she wanted a quick way out of their marriage and Charming.

"Well, I want out of this too. So, we just need to endure a few months living together, and that's it."

"That's it?" - Jax nodded.

It seemed simple enough of a plan. Simple enough to have them both reel with inner excitement and looking forward to putting on a little show for Gemma.

As if they could actually fool her.

But never mind that; they were willing to try it, both for their own reasons.

Tara clapped her hands enthusiastically, grinning from ear to ear. She could endure a few months. And the first chance she got, she was going to buy a one way ticket to England, US be damned.

She could practically see herself leaving Charming, heading towards the one person who really mattered to her, love-wise.

"Great! Now, let's go. My father must be waiting for us."

Tara took her purse and tossed in her key-card, her cell phone, and her lipstick and hurried to the lift. Jax followed her, his hands in his jeans pockets.

(Ok, I know it's not much, sorry. Leave me reviews to let me know if you like the story or not. Love you all, xoxo)


	4. Changes Are Scary

**A/N**: Hello :D

Thank you all for your immense support. You're amazing :D

It has been brought to my attention via your reviews that some of you think there are already some romantic feelings between them. At this point in the story, there ARE NO romantic feelings between them. I do have something in mind, an idea which will become more and more obvious as you read the story. Just trust me on this guys, it will be sooooo worth the wait and slow burn :P

Sorry for typos and mistakes.

Happy reading :3

* * *

**Changes Are Scary**

Tara took her purse and tossed in her key-card, her cell phone, and her lipstick, then hurried to the lift. Jax followed her, his hands in his jeans pockets.

He was walking in a slower pace and watching her from behind. Her walk was a graceful one. Her back was completely straight, and her ponytail swayed to the side with every step she made.

Jax couldn't help but grin slightly as he observed this girl, remembering all the times in the past few months when she wasn't all that graceful. Especially whenever she got angry with him and started cussing. It was endearing really, and he enjoyed immensely bringing her to her tipping point, teasing her relentlessly, watching her fume until she finally snapped.

When they'd finally reached the lift, she pressed the button to summon it. They stood in silence a few moments waiting for the lift to arrive before she decided to speak, a dose of hesitation in her voice.

"I never thought you were a 'girlfriend' type." - she turned her head slightly and gave him a side glance, her brow raised.

"It's somethin' new. Why? You jealous, princess?" - he shot back, leaning closer to her. A note of her perfume hit his nostrils and his breath caught in his throat. He purposely smirked, knowing that his smugness irritated the hell out of her.

As if on cue, she rolled her eyes, proving him right.

"Of you and your new girl toy? You wish." – said Tara as she stepped back, away from him.

The lift came and they got in as Tara pushed the button that would take them to the first floor.

"So, since we're being civil and all, last night's quarrel not included, does that mean you've forgiven me?"-Jax was leaned against the lift's wall, typing something on his phone; appearing calm and even bored though on the inside, he was vibrating with nervousness.

He wanted her to forgive him so badly even though he didn't deserve it. He was a dick to her when she first came to Charming, and now he could barely look her in the eye without feeling like utter shit.

He lifted his head timidly, waiting for her answer, only to meet Tara's surprised expression.

She laughed straight at him! Ok, he wasn't expecting that at all. Maybe a glare or some profanity but not for her to laugh at him.

"Forgiven? Oh, no. I won't let you off the hook that easily, Teller."

The lift door opened and they headed down the hall to the hotel dining room, the air around them filled with unwelcomed tension. Jax hastened his pace, reaching out to take her hand in order to stop her but Tara shook it off and continued walking, albeit angrily.

"But I said I was sorry, like ten times already. How long can you hold a grudge?" – he tried not to sound too desperate for her forgiveness.

She stopped suddenly and turned towards him. Pointing her finger at him with an angry look on her face, she said:

"You do not get to ask me that. What you did was rude and humiliating! You better pray Finn never finds out, otherwise, you're screwed."

Jax looked at her wide eyed as she spoke, and yes, he was scared shitless.

He had heard the stories about his viciousness; how he gladly implemented it in his SAMBEL dealings. But those that scared Jax the most were the ones that involved Finn's crazy protectiveness over his two years younger sister. As much as Jax admired him for that since he too had a sister, in this case he felt no admiration but pure and undeniable horror.

It's not that Jax was a coward or anything like that, because he wasn't. Growing up in SAMCRO, he had to witness some pretty gruesome scenes, do some unspeakable things which he wasn't proud of in the least.

However, he knew that he would never ever want to be faced with Finn's wrath. Somehow he knew he would be on the losing side and the thought made him back off immediately, though grudgingly.

He made a silent promise never to mention or apologise for that night again. However, he also made a promise to himself to do what he could to make it up to her any way he could. It was the right thing to do after all, right?

Tara had already reached the dining room when he collected his wits and ran to catch up with her. She glanced around the room, beaming wholeheartedly when she spotted her family at the far end of it. Her face practically glowed as she approached them, Jax noticed.

"Good Morning, dad, mum." - she hugged them and kissed their cheeks, then went around the table to her brother.

Finn was already on his feet when Tara wrapped her arms around him, burying her face in his chest. It was the safest place Tara ever knew and she relished in all the warmth and love which Finn enveloped her with. Finn hugged her tightly, a chuckle escaping his lips.

"Mornin', sis. Didn't think you'd miss me that soon."

"Shhh, I'll always miss you, silly. I can't believe you're leaving today."

She lifted her head and Finn saw tears in her eyes. Her chin was trembling and he knew she was about to cry.

"Excuse us."

Finn took Tara's hand and guided her to the outside garden through the glass door. They were immediately surrounded by the smell of dozens of types of flowers. A few tables were scattered around the garden.

Finn gestured Tara to sit and she did, while he brought a chair closer to hers and sat himself. Taking her hands in his, he called her name and she lifted her head slowly. A tear had already fallen on her cheek.

Finn wiped the tear with his thumb. His heart ached seeing his little sister like this.

"Tara, what happened?"

His immediate thought was that Jax had said or done something to her and it made the blood in his veins boil. _That little_-

"I don't know how I'll ever live like this. Last night I couldn't sleep because of him. He was snoring the entire night, Finn! And I kept thinking, what if dad expects me to be with him, you know, like be _be_ with him? I mean, he must think that. After all, they'll want grandchildren soon. All of them: Nero, Gemma, da', Fi.

I can't do this! I can't be like that. I don't know Charming, I don't know all those people. They seem nice enough, but I just-" - she sobbed, unable to contain her fear anymore. -"I'm terrified that I'll be stuck here for the rest of my life, that I won't see any of you anytime soon. I'm afraid I won't see you. And I don't have any friends here. My entire life is on another continent. Why did this have to happen to me?

Was this really necessary? Couldn't they have resolved this some other way? Like found a company together, sign some contracts without having to involve me in their stupid feud!"

Finn wiped the tears off her face then smiled encouragingly at her.

No matter how dark his life was, no matter how bitter about it he was at times, Finn cared about his family and friends. And no matter what people thought of him, Finn Telford had a heart.

A man feared by so many had a great weakness and it was a woman.

A gorgeous brunette with the eyes the colour of the most beautiful meadows and features that reminded him so much of their mother.

And now she was sitting in front of him, crying her heart out and suddenly her pain was his pain, her tears were his tears. Finn longed to wipe the past months from their lives, return to reasonably calm times when his only worry regarding Tara was if she got home safely and whether or not she was still sneaking around with Rhydian thinking no one knew about them.

His gaze softened as he regarded her pale face.

"He only wants you to be happy. I'm sure that-"

"But, I'm not happy. I will never be happy there. My life is not here, Finn. It's not."

And Finn knew that. Suddenly he remembered all the arguments he had with his parents because of this. He tried to convince them to think of something else, but his father always used the same excuse: "It's what your ma' would've wanted anyway."

Finn never understood what their mother had to do with this and why in the hell she would ever want her daughter to marry some gangster wannabe form Charming.

"Tara Grace, you listen to me, and you listen to me carefully. I understand you, I do. And I know that this situation is shit. If I could do anything to get you out of this, I would. But you know how dad is; he has to have the final say in everything always. As much as I hate it, there's no way around it.

But I know you too, and you are a fighter, and fighters never give up. You'll make a beautiful life in Charming, and you won't let your doubts get the better of you. As for him, if he ever crosses the line, you call me and I'll come and take care of it." - the last sentence was a mixture of a joke and a threat.

Finn didn't quite believe his own words, actually detesting the fact that he will have to be away from Tara, not able to protect her should anything happen. He didn't trust that Teller kid nor that family but he had no saying in the matter whatsoever. The only thing he could do was to assure his sister that he would always be there for her and he meant it.

Tara laughed, sniffing as she started wiping her cheeks, thanking god her mascara was waterproof. -"I love you, Finnegan. I love you so much."

She hugged him again and held onto him tightly, as he was going to disappear any moment now.

"Oh silly, you know I'll be there for you, always, always. Besides, we'll come visit you, and you'll come visit us." – Finn stroked her back, his chest constricting.

"I know, but it won't be the same."

Oh, he was well aware of that.

She took a deep breath to calm herself before she stood up.

"Now, let's eat. I'm starving." - Finn got up and offered her his hand. She took it and they went back inside.

Her father gave her a questioning look as she sat beside him. He leaned towards her.

"You all right?"

She nodded, kissing his cheek and smiling weakly.

...

Soon, the Tellers came and they all had breakfast together.

Luckily for Tara, Thomas and Trinity were cracking jokes, making everyone at the table laugh. It made her feel more at ease to see that she'll at least have someone to hang around with. They were nice to her from the very start, especially Trinity who did everything to make her feel at home.

Then Gemma asked her something and soon, they were all engaged in conversations with one another.

Chatter, laughter, and occasional cussing were heard from their table.

Tara glanced at Jax who was seated next to her. When he noticed her looking at him, he winked, earning an eye roll from her. It was going to become a habit, it seemed.

He annoyed her so much although Tara couldn't pin point what exactly bothered her about him. Was it his arrogance, his egocentrism, narcissism, his constant teasing, the way he always found ways to get under her skin and piss her off?

There were so many things apparently.

_ Well, this should be fun_, she thought.

He grinned, obviously not getting the hint with her eye rolling and unable to stop himself from teasing her.

"Your mascara is all smudged. You look like a panda."

"I do not!"

She scowled, grabbing her purse and taking out her mirror. She looked at her reflection, then closed her eyes and sighed in annoyance.

"You little shit!" – she whispered, punching him in the arm.

She could swear he acted like a child sometimes, not like a responsible adult. _Just my luck. _

Jax just laughed, content to see her irritated.-"Careful, princess. With that amount of scowling, you'll be all wrinkled by your next birthday."- he whispered, his breath tickling her as his lips brushed against the shell of her ear.

She leaned back slightly to move away from him, hoping he didn't notice her shiver. She turned to face him, but since he didn't move, their faces were just inches from each other.

It was an awkward position, one that made her gulp especially when she noticed a glint in his eyes that were focused solely on her.

She looked him straight in the eyes, her voice ice-cold. -"Careful, Teller. You'll be a eunuch by your next birthday if you keep it up like that."

Tara resumed her conversation with her father, not giving Jax any attention whatsoever.

_Yeah, I'm fucked_, he thought.

(Thoughts? I haven't written the next chapter yet and I have the most important exam tomorrow, so there will be no update until Sunday/Monday. Leave me some feedback Love you all xoxo)


	5. How I Knew You Were a Dick

A/N: Hey, people! Thanks for all the support :D

Heeeeeere's the new chapter! You'll find out why Tara dislikes Jax so much and why he felt the need to apologise in the previous chapter. Don't forget to leave a review. :D

I've never been to San Francisco so I apologise if I got something wrong.

Sorry for typos and mistakes.

Happy reading :3

* * *

**How I Knew You Were a Dick **

After they had breakfast, the Tellers and the Telfords went sightseeing.

Tara thought San Francisco was astonishing, and she lamented having to go back to the awfulness that was Charming.

Her mum and dad walked hand in hand, as did Gemma and Nero.

McKenna, Finn, Opie, and Thomas were talking avidly about football and soccer, arguing which of those two sports was better and why. To Tara's surprise, the usually quiet McKenna was the loudest of them all, and seemed to be the most knowledgeable one.

Jax was walking behind her, talking rather quietly on the phone, presumably with his girlfriend. Tara would hear occasional obscenity and just roll her eyes at his primitivism.

She couldn't fathom how he could behave like that in public. What if someone overheard all those nasty expressions?

Tara on the other hand immersed herself completely in taking pictures of everything she found interesting. She had made at least twenty pictures of Golden Gate Bridge.

Next, they went to the Pier 39 and Tara, as well as all the females from their little group squealed at the sight of dozens of sea lions lying on the docks, bathing in the sunlight.

"This is-"- Tara began saying with the widest grin on her face but Jax, who had apparently finished his phone conversation, came behind her and cut her off.

"Fucking awful! Jesus Christ, this fucking stinks! It's like sewage!" - he was pinching his nose, his face a grimace.

Tara was all but ready to introduce her fist to his face, but luckily Trinity's arrival stopped her.

"Look, Tara! Aren't they just beautiful!"

Tara cast a venomous glare in Jax's direction before turning her back to him. -"Oh, yes, they are. And look at that fellow over there!"- she pointed at one of the sea lions who was lifting his head towards the sun, shifting its body as if it wanted to soak in as much sunlight as possible.

"It looks like it's posing!' - exclaimed Trinity.

Tara took several shots of the creatures from various angles. The sight of them brought a smile to her face and she wished she could stay there forever, just enjoying the sun, being with her family, having fun.

The day ended too soon and they all went back to the hotel to pack. Tara's family was leaving that evening, a fact Tara gladly ignored the entire day, dreading the moment when she would have to say goodbye to the people she loved the most in this world.

Before they went to dinner, McKenna came to her room to talk to her. They sat on the terrace drinking coffee. Jax went somewhere, Tara didn't ask where nor did she care.

The two girls chatted for about half an hour about McKenna's internship at some hot shot lawyer's office.

The blonde couldn't have been happier. This was her opportunity to finally move away from SAMBEL and Tara was happy for her, knowing full well how carefree a life away from SAMBEL was.

She herself was never too involved with the club. She spent her childhood and adolescent years in England, and never had to worry if some harm would befall on her.

Her parents made sure she was safe and happy. She was among the best in her class, she had a couple of good friends, and later on, she managed to find a good job.

What Tara hated was that her brother Finn wasn't as lucky as she was. He did finish college, but instead of finding a steady job, he decided to join dad in the club, something Tara never forgave him.

She wondered why he had decided to put his life in danger like that, but every time she asked him, he replied that it was his duty as the president's son to follow in his footsteps. It was a bullshit excuse, but one Tara had to accept. Finn was her favourite person in the whole world and just thinking about him getting hurt...

"I haven't had the chance to ask you today, how did you spend the night? Any action?" - McKenna wiggled her eyebrows playfully.

"Eww, McKenna! Gross!"- Tara made a grimace, sounding appalled by her cousin's insinuation. -"Of course not. After much arguing, we agreed to sleep in the bed, since neither one of us wanted to sleep on the floor. But I made sure there was no physical contact whatsoever." - Tara emphasised that fact while taking a sip of her coffee.

McKenna crossed her legs and tilted her head, narrowing her eyes at Tara. -"Don't you think you're exaggerating just a little? I mean, I understand the no touching/no sleeping together part. But, honestly, your overall attitude towards him is... I don't know, too much."

Tara knew that McKenna was right, to a certain extent. But McKenna wasn't aware of what had happened between Jax and her when she first came to Charming.

Of course Tara wasn't too happy to leave her life and come to some godforsaken town in the States she'd never heard of. But when her father laid out the situation to her, all the bad things that had happened between the two charters because of True IRA, Tara accepted to come to Charming and at least get to know this guy she was expected to marry.

And so, she packed her bags and came to Charming, accompanied by her parents. She wished Finn could have come as well, but her dad had left him in charge of everything, since he was the club's vice president.

Their first stop was the SAMCRO clubhouse. Upon their arrival, they were stopped a few times and pleasantly greeted by some of the members, Tara concluded, based on the attire they were wearing.

Then, a woman in her late forties possibly early fifties, leather skinny jeans, and v-neck top came out of the clubhouse and embraced them all in a friendly hug.

"And this must be Tara. You're one smokin' hot girl. It's been a long time since I last saw your pretty face. I can already see what a great old lady you'll be to my Jax."

It was all too much for Tara. She was still not used to the fact that she was going to get married. Let alone that she was going to marry to a guy she doesn't know and who belongs in the same dangerous, bloody world just like her father and her brother. Now she had his mother act all friendly? And what was that 'it's been a long time since I last saw you' about?

She'd never met this woman before. Not that she could recall.

Gemma took her hand and led her inside the clubhouse. They stopped not far from the bar, where a group of bikers was gathered, drinking, smoking, and laughing.

"Jax." - Gemma called out, pulling Tara behind her.

A guy that was sitting with his back to them turned, a joint between his lips, his blond hair slicked back. He wore some washout jeans and from where she was standing, Tara caught a glimpse of a tattoo on his arm.

The image she had of Jax Teller was the complete opposite of what he was actually like.

She had imagined him looking like most of the guys from her father's club: unkempt thirty-something-year-olds, with long beards, and greasy hair who smoked a pack of cigarettes a day (aside from joints they all regularly smoked).

As far as she knew, the only guys that actually looked like guys and not some old dudes were Finn and Rhydian.

Instead, she was faced with this handsome biker with sandy blond hair and eyes with the weirdest mixture of green and blue she had ever seen.

And that most certainly wasn't something she expected.

_Ok, so maybe he's nice. This doesn't have to be that bad. Maybe we can reach some sort of an agreement._

Her hopes of making their future arrangement as painless as possible for both of them plummeted when he opened his mouth.

"So, you're the chick I'm supposed to tie the knot with?" - he assessed he from head toe, then sneered. A cloud of smoke in the shape of a ring came out of his mouth.

_What the hell? Who did he think he was_?

She pressed her lips together, her hands clutched in fists as she fought the urge to strangle him.

He continued talking, not noticing or choosing to ignore Tara's death glare. - "Shit, I expected some sexy bomb to drop here from the way they've been describing you. You don't seem like much."

Tara's palm was gladly introduced to Jax's cheek. She slapped him so hard, that he actually staggered back , holding his cheek.

_That'll teach him to rein in his arrogance, that conceited shithead._

'Oooo' was heard from the guys as they watched the two of them; Tara was all red in face from anger and humiliation, and Jax from rage and Tara's slap.

Her hand hurt like hell, but it was all worth it once she saw the imprint of her hand on his cheek. Once more, she was glad Finn taught her to fight. Or in this case, put some stupid fucking idiot in his place.

"What the fuck?" – he growled, looking daggers at her.

"Do not ever disrespect me like that again or I'll knock your teeth out!"

Her whole body was shaking with fury, tears pricking her eyes but she didn't want to let him see her like that.

"What the fuck, Jackson?" – Gemma pushed him hard and he again staggered back. - "I didn't raise you to behave like that and disrespect women. I'll be the one to kick your ass the next time you say something like that to her." - Gemma yelled, threatening him with her finger.

Tara's parents came behind them, looking confused by the scene in front of them.

"What's goin' on 'ere?" – Chibs wrapped his arm around Tara's shoulders and she leaned back into this semi hug, feeling the anger subside.

"Nothing, dad. Gemma was just going to introduce me to her son." - she forced a smile on her face. There was no need to worry her parents and start this visit with an argument.

Chibs kissed her temple and proceeded to greet everyone, followed by Fiona. Tara stood in place, taking deep breaths to calm herself.

If this was the man she was supposed to marry, she would rather stay alone for the rest of her life.

Returning to the present time and her conversation with McKenna, Tara replied:

"I get what you mean, but this is my life. And you don't know him like I do. Granted, I haven't known him that long, but what I've gathered so far is enough to make me act like this. I have my reasons, McKenna."

McKenna sighed, standing up and readjusting her plump skirt. - "Do whatever you think is right. I just think you should give him some benefit of the doubt. Maybe he'll surprise you."

Tara doubted it. No way was she going to change her mind or her attitude towards that hillbilly. No way.

She put the cup on the table and smiled weakly at her cousin. -"I'll do that when I see some change. However right now, there is no chance in hell I'll be all friendly with him. I've given up enough already. I can't force myself to change for him. I won't."

McKenna patted her shoulder and leaned down to kiss her cheek, then left the room, her dress rustling around her.

Tara sat another half an hour alone on the terrace watching the sundown, contemplating what her life could have been like if she had stayed in England. Even staying in Belfast with SAMBEL seemed like a better choice than this.

She glanced at her watch. Her parents' flight was due in three hours. Getting up, she dialled Finn and they agreed to meet in the lobby when they'd packed.

To be continued...

(I hope you like this chapter. Let me know your thoughts, I love reading your reviews. xoxo)


	6. Finn the Protector

A/N: Thank you for reading this story. And thank you for your support :D

Some information:

Tara does not have a boyfriend. I repeat, no boyfriend. But, she does have someone... :D

And Jax won't break up with his girlfriend any time soon, sorry.

Also, in one of the upcoming chapters, you will get to know her. I even have a specific someone in mind to play her :D

Finn= Colin Donnell

McKenna=Emily Bett Rickards

Sorry for typos and mistakes.

Happy reading :3

* * *

**Finn the Protector**

While Tara and McKenna drank coffee and chatted, Finn and Jax were having a conversation of their own. Earlier, when they got back to the hotel, Finn invited Jax to his room. He wanted to make sure that this man his sister married was worthy of her.

Ever since their mum died, Finn became almost obsessed in his desire to protect his sister.

He was only six, and Tara only four when their mother Grace died. Her death took an enormous toll on their father, but even bigger on the two of them. Suddenly, Finnegan and Tara Telford Knowles became motherless children.

Finnegan watched as his little sister Tara withdrew from the world, opting to play in her room with her dolls rather than to go outside and play with children of her own age. He himself found it difficult to understand why everything changed so suddenly. But one thing he did understand was that he only had her and that Tara only had him.

Their father married Fiona two years later. As far as stepmothers go, she could have been the worst. However, she wasn't. She embraced Tara and Finn like they were her own blood and it was thanks to her that Tara finally got out of her shell.

Fiona was the best mother that not even a lottery could give them. Finn thanked God every day that she entered their lives.

Finn couldn't say that he was surprised when his father suggested the marriage to Tara. However, he was surprised she agreed to it. Always stubborn, his little sister never let anyone make any decisions for her. She was strong and independent.

Seeing his sister so defeated that morning broke his heart and he wished he could tell her for sure that things were going to be ok. There was no guarantee he could give her however. They were all going to be thousands of miles away from here, a fact that he didn't like one bit.

Finn somehow knew that this marriage was going to be the most difficult challenge his sister had ever faced. And if he could assist her in any way, well then he would definitely do it.

Especially with relation to her new husband.

Just like McKenna and Tara, the boys too sat on the terrace, though there was an air of animosity surrounding them.

Finn was dressed in dark grey suit and white shirt sans tie. He crossed his legs, his gaze fixed on something in the distance. Seemingly though because he was aware that Jax feared him, so looking even a little calm yet frightening at the same time seemed like a good intimidation strategy.

Jax on the other hand, stretched his feet out and leaned back against the chair, lighting a cigarette. His plan was too look as carefree as possible and not at all like a frightened kid. _Yeah, totally._

This silence was definitely scaring him. He wondered why Finn wanted to talk to him, though he had a pretty good idea it was about Tara. _Keep it cool, Jax._

He was just exhaling the smoke when Finn spoke.

"How much do you care about your family, Jax?" – asked Finn without looking at Jax.

Jax frowned, confused by his question. -"A lot. They're the most important people in my life." – he answered, taking another drag.

He saw Finn's lips curve in a smile.

"Exactly. Family is important. And Tara is my family." - his face became softer as he began speaking of his sister. - "I remember, one time, we were about eight and ten, we were playing in our backyard with a few of our friends. Rhydian, who at the time had a childish crush on Tara, was trying to get her attention. He kept pulling her pigtails, driving Tara mad. She was ignoring him. But then, the genius had an idea. He took a hose and sprayed her with water."

They both laughed. Jax imagined little Tara drenched with a furious look on her face. Something warm tugged at his chest. -"I can guess what she did."

Finn chuckled. - "If your guess is that she punched him so hard he fell on the ground, then you're correct. I can see her clearly: soaking wet, shaking from cold, her brows furrowed and her fists clenched. She just starts yelling at him. _How dare he pull her pigtail and be so obtuse_? " - he was making a face, imitating his eight-year-old sister.

"I guess she always had that fire in her." - said Jax matter-of-factly, putting out his cigarette and exhaling the remaining smoke out of his lungs.

Finn cleared his throat, turning to Jax. His eyes were icy cold that Jax actually gulped, already afraid of what Tara's brother might say next.

"The moral of the story I just told you is that if you keep pushing her buttons, you are bound to get burnt. Tara might seem nice, but she can stand up for herself. Don't underestimate her and think she's weak. She's anything but."

Jax sighed, stroking his beard. He knew what Finn tried to say: stop messing with her.

"Listen, man. I hate this arrangement as much as she does. I'm just tryin' to lighten up this whole situation."

Finn smiled coldly, crossing his fingers on the table and leaning forward.

"Listen, _Jax_. My sister is the best person I know. She already proved how brave she was by accepting this ludicrous idea of our parents. Tara is a strong woman that can fight her own battles. But sometimes she needs someone who'll have her back. That's why I'm here. Let's make this short and clear: If anything happens to her because of you, I'll come to that shitty town of yours and make sure that you remember the name of Finnegan Telford. "

Jax mouthed to say something, but Finn just continued talking. -"My family is sacred to me. My sister is the reason I haven't gone mad amidst this fucking feud with your charter and the True IRA. So, this is my first and last 'advice' to you. Do not hurt her in any way. Got it?"

Jax sat in the chair, completely confused and defeated. He had been married to her for a day, and he was already getting death threats. That's not how he hoped things would go.

Finn had a no-nonsense-look on his face and Jax didn't dare to say anything. He just nodded.

"Good. You can go now." - Finn dismissed him like he was nothing more but an annoying fly.

Jax wanted to punch the guy, but decided against it. He was already tired of everything and couldn't wait to get back to Charming. He left Finn's room rolling his eyes and hoping that the nightmare he got himself into would not last long.

##############################################################################

After dinner, the Tellers and Telfords headed to the airport.

Tara fought not to cry. But her soul ached at the prospect of being alone. She held onto her mother's hand the whole ride to the airport, her head leaned on her shoulder. Fiona kissed the top of her head and stroked her cheek.

"Do not be sad, my dear. I'll visit you soon, I promise." – Fiona said softly.

McKenna took her other hand and smiled widely. -"And we'll talk on the phone and skype and text. It will be like we're all there."

Tara smiled back, but she knew it wouldn't be like that. They will be back home, all together, while she was stuck with that hillbilly.

Things were changing, her life was changing, and Tara didn't like it one bit.

##############################################################################

At the airport, her father pulled her to the side, holding her close.

"My sweet daughter. I know how hard this is for you. But remember, you're a Telford and you don't let anyone mess with you. If you ever need me or Finn, just call us, and we'll be there."

Tara kissed him on the cheek and wrapped her arms around him, wishing she hadn't grown up, that she was still his little girl. -"I love you, dad. I love you so much."

He hugged her tightly, stroking her hair. -"I love you too, silly. And remember, this has to work, for both our families' sake."

Tara nodded. She felt bad about lying to her father. However, she didn't want to disappoint him.

"I know. But I doubt it will be that easy."

"I trust you."

It was one sentence. Just one sentence that held a promise, a hope, and a hidden vow her father had just bestowed her with. _There is no way out_, was what he was saying, and _you'll have to make it work, one way or the other_.

There was no right answer she could give him. Her heart wasn't in it. She didn't want this union, she didn't want this man, and she most certainly did not want to make it work.

Tara just hugged him again, ignoring the pain her father's words had caused her, then they joined the others who were also saying their goodbyes.

McKenna and Tara, in spite of their endeavours, were crying and hugging. The situation was hard for both of them since they were hardly ever apart. The same situation was with Finn, only he didn't' cry. He cupped her face and kissed her forehead instead.

"Remember what I told you. And call me if anything happens."

"I will." – she buried her head in his chest. - "Say hi to him from me. Tell him I miss him."

Finn raised his brow when she pulled back. -"Tara. I thought that was over."

"It never really started." – she replied sadly, choking back her cry of pain.

"Ok. Don't cry. I love you."

##############################################################################

After they all said their goodbye, the Telfords went to board the plane.

The Tellers had to wait for their flight to Chicago a while longer, which irritated Tara. They were sitting in airport terminal, their luggage already on its way to the plane.

Trinity and Thomas were seated across form Tara and Jax, playing some game on their tablets. Gemma was leafing through some beauty magazine, whereas Nero read the newspapers. Both of them had reading glasses perched on top of their noses.

Tara crossed her legs, then started rummaging through her purse, looking for her earphones. She sighed defeated when she realised she had probably lost them.

"If you want, you can use mine." – said Jax, offering her one of his earphones.

Tara frowned. Reluctantly, she took it. -"Thanks. What are you listening go?"

He shrugged. -"Just some eighties songs my dad liked." - his voice was etched with sadness, though his lips did spread in a shy smile.

Tara nodded in understanding and put the earphone in her ear.

"I never thought you're an eighties man." - she teased, leaning back on her chair.

"Lot of things you don't know about me." – he said simply.

"I guess so."

Somehow, this little conversation wiped away the tension that had descended upon them since their argument that morning. For the next half an hour they just listened to the music on Jax's iphone, never speaking a word to one another again, though it was unnecessary really.

They were both lost in their thoughts of their deceased parents, reminiscing about good old memories and happy moments they had managed to share with them before they were gone for good.

Gemma observed them from the corner of her eyes and grinned satisfyingly.

"You're being too obvious, mama." - Nero said without looking up from his newspapers.

Gemma turned to him and whispered. -"I can't help it. They look so damn good together. Just look at them. Grace would have loved to see them like this again. I just wish they got along better."

"They probably will with time. Just stop being nosy. You know how much Jax hates it. Let them be and see what happens. Let the things take their own course." – Nero tried to soothe his wife's enthusiasm with some reality.

Gemma just shook her head not really listening to him and sighed, returning her gaze to her son and Tara.

_Of course they will get along. They were made for each other._

(Like it? Don't like it? Leave a review and state your opinion. Love you all xoxo)


	7. We Are in Charming Now

**A/N: **New chapter! I really had fun writing it. You guys are just wonderful and I'm beyond grateful for all the support you're giving to this story.

N.B.: -You'll get to know Jax's girl in one of the future chapters. No, Gemma doesn't know Jax has a girlfriend. It's complicated, but it will be explained soon. IT'S NOT IMA, I assure you. Nor any of the girls that appeared on SoA.

-Tara's mystery man will be introduced as well. I'm just waiting for the right moment. Both he and Jax's girl are hot, fyi.

-This is Jax/Tara story, there will be HEA. But, you know, certain things have to happen.

-And guest who thought they wouldn't like the story: I'm thrilled you gave it a shot! I hope you'll stick around :D

Chapter dedicated to **NaeNae78. HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I wish you all the best, sweetie!**

Sorry for typos and mistakes.

Happy reading :3

* * *

**We Are in Charming Now**

The Tellers were heading to Chicago to visit Gemma's parents since they wanted to meet the newest addition to their family. Due to Gemma's father's illness, they were unable to travel and therefore couldn't be there for Jax's big day.

However, their plans failed. After waiting at the airport for an hour, the Tellers and the other passengers were informed that their flight had been cancelled due to some problem with the plane's engine.

Having no other choice, they waited for another two hours on baggage claim, then rented two cars, packed their luggage, and headed to Charming.

Those three hours were not very pleasant for Gemma, since she got a headache from Jax and Tara's constant bickering.

One moment they were fine (not talking, but she would take that over bickering any day!), the next they were at each other's throats because they both fell asleep and Jax's phone on which they were listening music to dropped from his lap and was now clearly broken.

Jax blamed Tara because they were sharing his earphones and he was vehement that her arm somehow got tangled in the earphones' wire and knocked it down.

Tara replied angrily, saying that he wasn't holding it firmly in his hands and that's why it fell _while_ they were both asleep.

That resulted in five pair of eyes looking at her like she had grown a second head before Tara realised what she had said and corrected her unintentional innuendo, accompanied with blushed cheeks and silent curses intended for Jax, dagger eyes and all.

Honestly, Gemma was exhausted already with the two of them and they haven't even reached Charming! She hoped with all her heart that they would at least be nice to each other in public, but they seemed very stubborn to ruin all her hopes of a peaceful life.

_She would just have to do something about it. Starting with the surprise waiting for them when they finally got home._

Ever since Nero and Chibs finally sat down and resolved their differences and agreed that to unify their charters they would have to do something drastic, Gemma had wondered what that might be. And when Nero informed her that he had suggested a marriage, Gemma was over the moon, not hiding her contentment in the slightest.

Of course that she had secretly hoped for such a resolution of the feud, and ok, maybe she did her magic and planted the idea in Nero's mind. But it was all good intentioned- Grace would agree with her for sure- and all in an effort of getting those two together by hook or by crook. And sure things weren't ideal now, but Gemma never let herself be dissuaded that in matter of mere months her son and Tara would be happily in love and even thanking her for getting them together.

They could maybe even grant her a wish of a grandson... Who knew.

Long before she met and married Nero, Gemma was married to John Teller. Jax's father was the founder of the club and he kept good relations with all the subsequent Sons of Anarchy charters, including that from Belfast.

The two charters, SAMCRO and SAMBEL, were involved in gun-running business with the True IRA. But, due to True IRA's greediness and John's unwillingness to compromise with them, the bloodshed began. SAMBEL was caught in the crossfire, and the relations between the two charters deteriorated.

Before all that happened, Chibs and John were good friends. In fact, Gemma and John often visited him and his family. Jax was only two the first time he went to Belfast with them.

And those visits were one of Gemma's favourite memories. Jax was a timid child in the beginning, often keeping himself to himself, not really desiring to interact with anyone in particular.

The day of their visit was very ill planned since all the members of SAMBEL decided to organise a small get together of their families, which later resulted in over fifty people being crammed in a refurbished warehouse near their clubhouse. All the old ladies and girlfriends were rushing around and helping Grace since she was the president's wife, hence having the most responsibilities.

Tara was only a baby then and she kept crying and crying, even though she had been fed and changed. Not one woman managed to calm the baby girl and her mother became worried that something might be wrong.

In came little Jax. Standing up from the armchair which he was sitting in, he approached her slowly, like he was afraid of scaring the crying baby even more.

To everyone's surprise, the little boy was the only one who managed to calm her down, making faces at her and tickling her tummy. Baby Tara would giggle and Jax would giggle with her, and everybody observed their interaction in silence and undisguised astoundment.

That day, a curious and unusual bond was created between little Jax and baby Tara, one that Gemma hoped from the bottom of your heart had endured even decades of separation.

_Too bad that things happened the way they did,_ Gemma reflected sorrowfully. Although, she was keeping her fingers crossed and her mind sharp, just in case they needed a little push from her.

###############################################################################

Gemma made Jax and Tara drive in a separate car, alone, while the rest of them drove with Nero.

Needless to say, the ride was agonizingly exhausting for Tara because Jax either annoyed her with his stupid jokes or his stupid taste in music. Though, Tara suspected that the music was meant more to aggravate her. There was no way in hell that Jax listened to country music.

Nevertheless, he kept humming and singing off key at the top of his lungs. Never mind that Tara had asked him politely several times to change the station, or to just stop singing himself. He would just smirk and continue singing, even though the words weren't even close to those of the song.

Tara felt like screaming and hitting him. And so she did just that. She yelled at him and changed the station and punched him in the shoulder just to get that frustration of her.

It yielded no fruit. Jax yelled back, with cigarette between his lips, the ashes falling down on his trousers as he shouted how childish she was being. He changed the station back to country.

Naturally, Tara defended herself stating that he was the one being childish for not letting her change the station after she had asked him kindly.

After ten minutes, they fell into the most uncomfortable silence Tara had ever experienced. All she wanted was to be as far away from him as possible, just to let off steam and forget about everything. But she was in a car, Jax and stupid radio as her opponents. She didn't want to bother with asking him for earphones; she was sure he'd say no just to torture her some more.

Not long after that, both Nero and Jax pulled over suddenly and got out of the cars. Tara observed through the windscreen as they entered some shop. She presumed they were there on club business since the neighbourhood they were currently in screamed danger what with all dim atmosphere and shady characters glancing at her from the street.

She took her phone out of her purse, intending to at least call McKenna or Finn. And then she saw she had one message and one missed call. She hurried to see who it was from. A nostalgic smile appeared on her face when she saw his name glowing on the screen.

_Damn Jax and his loud music._ She would have probably heard the phone ring hadn't he been so keen on making her life a living hell!

_He_ was asking her how she was and if she had arrive to Charming yet. He wished to talk to her.

Tara felt a pang of guilt and regret.

After all, leaving Belfast meant leaving everyone behind, including him. They texted and talked a few times since then, but she was well aware that she shouldn't have been doing that. Hurting him was the last thing she wanted. It would have been much better and easier for both of them to stop all communication.

He should move on with his life, and so should she. _Like that's easy._

Tara knew that she was being selfish by clinging onto him when in fact they never crossed that line. But she had been in love with him for too long and it was hard for her to let him go. And she knew that he felt the same way.

She quickly typed her message, saying that she was tired and that she would call him tomorrow, and sent it. It was a way to give herself some time to prepare for the inevitability that was saying goodbye to him for good.

Five minutes later, Jax came back and they resumed their ride in silence. The tension was radiating off him. He took out a cigarette and lit it, taking a long drag, seemingly to calm his nerves.

"Is everything all right?" - Tara dared to ask, although she suspected he would tell her off.

"Nah. The Niners have been moving in on our territory." - he answered angrily.

"Oh." - was Tara's answer.

She didn't know much about the overall club business, but the little she knew was thanks to Finn who used to sit down with her and explain the most important things regarding the club.

She wanted to ask Jax what they were planning to do, but decided against it. He was already pissed. Asking him more would most certainly anger him even more.

...

Just his fucking luck! It was his first night back and they already had problems needed to be taken care of.

When Nero became the president of SAMCRO, everyone, including Jax, hoped that relations between different gangs and clubs would somehow become better. It was wishful thinking; Jax knew that well but still...

Nero came through though just as he had promised and things were good for a while. No one stepped on anyone's territory, they all cooperated for the collective good (the collective good being a huge cut in drug/arms trafficking).

Then one day, his stepfather confided in Jax his plans of going legit and leaving all the illegal business behind. Jax was shocked since illegal business was all he knew since he joined the Sons. How Nero planned on making that happen was beyond him.

Nero just shook his head knowingly, then asked Jax for his support and help. How could he have said no when Nero was the only father he had known since John left this world?

_Fuck, fuck, fuck!_ Jax knew, he just knew that the decision would come back to bite them in the ass!

Not only were they losing money, but there were some new players in the game now, ones that were prepared to kill the entire charter if needed just to get that territory.

They were in cahoots with the Niners and were planning an attack on them. When, their sources couldn't tell. Well, at least they knew _something_ and could plan some defence strategy.

Hopefully one that wouldn't end with all of them dead in the process.

###############################################################################

Nero parked the car in front of Jax and Tara's new house, and Jax parked right behind him. Trinity got out of the car and helped Tara unload the various wedding gifts while Jax and Thomas took care of the luggage.

Tara didn't pay much attention to the house itself because she was exhausted. She hurried to get in and end this day. _Maybe a warm bath and a glass of wine could help ease these tense muscles._

Gemma walked up to her and hugged her. -"Get some rest, baby. We'll deal with everything tomorrow."

Trinity kissed her cheek and said she would come by the tomorrow to help her settle down. Thomas made some naughty insinuations regarding her and Jax, something about christening the bed, and winked at her. She rolled her eyes (_god! Will she ever stop doing that_!), but chuckled at his silliness.

Tara waved at them as they drove off, then took a deep breath before going back into the house.

Closing the door behind her and turning, Tara slowly took in her new surroundings.

The living room wasn't all that big, but it was nicely furnished. There was a black leather sofa and black armchair next to it. Plasma TV was mounted to the wall, while the round grey coffee table was placed in front of it, with several magazines pilled on it.

The kitchen was even simpler. The cupboards were painted ochre and when Tara opened each of them, she saw that they were all stocked. Some with plates, cups, glasses, and other dishes, while the others held flour, rice, spices, and junk food.

_Good. At least there was food!_

Gemma told her that the house had two bedrooms. Tara opened the door to one of the rooms, and gasped in shock. She covered her mouth with her hand, blinking away the sight before her. It just wouldn't go away! Damn it!

The room was obviously meant to be a nursery. There was a crib, a stroller, a car seat, a high chair, and even a changing table. The walls were painted in peach colour.

Tara was freaking out, her senses on high alert._ This was too much. Way too much. Who in the world thought to make a nursery? And to furnish it?_

Her throat was dry from sheer panic that had overcome her. Her body started to tremble and she feared her legs betray her.

"Teller!" - she yelled, unable to look away from that damn nursery.

There was no answer. She yelled again.

"What, what?"- he came out of, what Tara now presumed correctly, was the bedroom.

He was naked. Well, not naked. He had a towel wrapped round his hips. Water was dripping off his body, his hair, and his goatee.

Tara gulped, looking at him totally dazed.

_So, he worked out. God, he looked amazing! Focus Knowles!_

She shook her head slightly to come to her sense. -"What is all this?" - she motioned towards the nursery.

He walked past her holding the towel. -"Oh, fuck! Gemma!"- he said when he saw his mother's work.

He was standing with his back to Tara, the smell of sandalwood and mint mingling in the air around him and Tara inadvertently sniffed him. Upon realising what she had done, she swiftly stepped away, huffing a sigh of gratitude because he didn't seem to have noticed it.

Because he stood with his back to her, Tara had the perfect view of his Reaper tattoo.

Her gaze followed all the curves and needle movements that had painted this art, feeling mesmerized by the combination of Jax's complexion and black ink adorning his skin. It was beautiful and suddenly, her fingers itched to touch it, to trace every line and every curve, every indentation and protrusion...

"Did it hurt?" - she asked suddenly, surprising both him and herself, her eyes still fixed on his back.

He turned, a slight frown between his brows as he looked at her.

"What?"

Tara looked up, eyes meeting his. -"The tattoo on your back. It's huge. It must've hurt."

Jax blinked a few times, before smirking. -"Yeah, it did. But it was worth it."

It hurt like hell but the surge of pride he felt when it was finally done and he was able to look at it in the mirror and admire it... Priceless.

It was the day he finally felt a part of the club, a part of SAMCRO family. He was like a kid on a sugar rush. He wished his father could've been there with him, sharing his joy.

His journey as a full-fledged member began that day, as he got his new bike, new kutte and an accompanying tattoo.

Although now,... it was the look on Tara's face that stroked his ego. Her gaze held so much admiration...

"It's beautiful and ugly at the same time." – she said absentmindedly. –"A work of art and a death threat at the same time. Makes one think twice before even talking to you."

Jax observed her, eyes wide open and mouth agape. _Was she scared of him? _He took notice of her laboured breathing and shaky voice and his own heart pounding all too fast.

...

He was standing too close to her, making her uncomfortable. Her own mind and body betrayed her as she felt an undeniable and unbelievable pull towards him: this stranger, this savage as she called him often in her head.

_What was wrong with her? _

Jax cleared his throat and stepped back, saving her (or both of them) any additional embarrassment.

I'll talk to Gemma tomorrow about this. Don't worry." - he nodded towards the nursery.

"Good. Can you go put some clothes on?"

It was really hard to have any civilised conversation with him being all naked and wet.

Jax rolled his eyes and smirked heading to the bedroom, whereas Tara went back to the living room and lay on the couch, placing her purse on the floor.

She closed her eyes for a moment, trying to calm her nerves.

_This wasn't supposed to be this serious. There wasn't supposed to be any nursery. No, no nursery._

It had never crossed her mind that their parents expected grandchildren so soon after the wedding.

_Did they have any idea just how crazy this whole thing had been right from the start? How can they put so much pressure on her? Did they really expect her and Jax to get at it like rabbits?_

Tara fell asleep on the couch, having nightmares of crying babies, poop, dirty diapers, and Jax laughing at her while she held a baby who peed on her.

And somehow a dripping wet Jax joined her later, only the scene shifted from nursery to bedroom.

In the morning, Tara would think back of her dream and attribute the appearance of Jax to her increased sex desire in general, not his sex appeal. Because she was in no way, shape or form attracted to him. No freaking way.

That night however, when Jax came into the living room and saw that she was asleep, he found a blanket and covered her, then headed to meet with his girl.

And meanwhile, while Tara battled with uninvited guests in her dreams, Jax tried to shake off the strange feeling that moment with Tara earlier had invoked.

(Just to remind you: There are no romantic feeling between the two of them. OK? Maybe some carnal desire? Lol Moving on: Lot of things happened in this chapter. We have some background story of young Jax and Tara asdfghjk :3 their current animosity, Tara's mystery man (some have already guessed who he is), the scene with the nursery etc. Review and let me know what you think. Love you all xoxo)


	8. Establishing Boundaries

**A/N: **Hi y'all :D New chapter is here. Sorry to have kept you waiting.

Tara's man is featured in this chapter! And, he is played by the handsome-beyond-belief Gabriel Macht. If you don't know what he looks like, be sure to google him and let me know what you think :D

**PLEASE READ THE FOLLOWING:**

To answer your question again: Yes, THIS IS J/T STORY ALL THE WAY, HEA is guaranteed. But, of course it can't be that easy. So, please, be patient.

Also: There will be no baby making for Jax. Not with his current girlfriend or any other girl for that matter. His currently girlfriend is NOT Ima. And I doubt that any of those girls will appear in this fic. This is a different kind of story I want to tell here.

Thank you for your reviews, favourites, and follows. It's your support that keeps me motivated, so keep it coming. :D

Sorry for typos and mistakes.

Happy reading :3

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**Establishing Boundaries**

Tara was woken up by the sound of someone knocking on the door. Opening her eyes slowly and yawning, she tried to remember where she was.

_Something about a wedding, nursery, some naked guy with a tattoo..._

Her body responded with pain when she tried to get up, pounding headache making it unbearable to even open her eyes.

The bed she was lying in was too uncomfortable, hard and too small for sleeping. Her neck and back hurt and, as she was slowly sitting up, a sharp pain shot through her neck. She yelped, making a grimace.

_Bloody hell!_

Then she remembered that she had fallen asleep on the couch in the living room. A fluffy blue blanket was covering her, one that wasn't there when she went to sleep. She assumed Jax covered her, probably the night before.

_Good, 'cause the last thing I need is to catch a cold!_

The person that was knocking was still persistent, so Tara got up and padded to the door, rubbing her eyes to try and wake up. Driving back to Charming with Jax yesterday was awful and everything that happened that day drained her emotionally, especially having to say goodbye to her family.

She unlocked the door and opened it, only to find Gemma, her sunglasses perched on top of her head, with what seemed like a picnic basket in one, and her purse in the other hand. She was grinning widely at Tara, who had a confused look on her face.

"Gooood moooorning!" – came Gemma's chirpy voice.

"Mrs. Teller? What are you doing here?"

Gemma laughed at her words, dismissing them with a wave of her hand. She took Tara by surprise she hugged her tightly and kissed her cheek, then entering the house like it was her own. A dumbfounded expression still etched on her face at the woman's audacity (because come on, who walks into somebody's house like that, without an invitation? At this hour of the morning no less!), Tara closed the door then followed Gemma to the kitchen.

Gemma put the basket on the counter and turned to Tara, that creepy smile (yes creepy because who smiles like that this early in the morning? Where did she get all that energy from anyway?) still on her face. Tara was leaning against the doorframe, her hands crossed on her chest as she stifled a yawn.

"Oh, sweetheart. I told you already, it's Gemma. Or mom. However you wish to call me. Did you sleep well?" - she asked, taking out several plates with sandwiches, a mountain of pancakes and waffles, and a bottle of orange juice.

Ok, so she knew her way around the house. Jax and her house. Tara felt an odd pang of jealousy and protectiveness. This was supposed to be her home now, and yet here was Jax's mum, going about her business like it's nothing. The fact angered Tara slightly, but then she bit her lip, feeling guilty for thinking such thoughts.

Gemma was just being helpful. She even brought her breakfast. But there was no way Tara was going to refer to her as mum. She already had two women she called that.

"No. My neck hurts. That couch is just awful." - she finally answered, sighing, turning her head left and right to ease the pain. Each time, she heard a cracking sound.

"Oh my, that sounds bad. You should ask Jax to give you massage. I'm sure he'll comply gladly."

The words were followed by a wink and Tara's mouth fell open. _What? How is this appropriate?_

Gemma went about her business around the kitchen like she didn't just insinuate that her daughter-in-law and son should use a massage as foreplay, opening the top drawer and taking out two forks. Then she opened one of the cupboards and took out two glasses, placing them on the table, oblivious of Tara's bewildered expression.

"I'm just going to take a shower. I won't take long." – said Tara, happy to stay away from Gemma for at least five minutes. The woman was exhausting!

Gemma nodded, that smile still on her face as Tara went to the bedroom, since all her stuff was there.

She looked around the room, taking in the queen-sized bed with plush cushions and duvet, a huge closet and some ornaments adorning the commode and small night tables.

Not half as bad as she thought, all things considered. She was definitely going to sleep in that bed tonight. Sans Jax, of course. Or with him and the pillow barrier. But never ever again on that goddamn couch.

Jax's clothes were discarded haphazardly over the floor and bed and she grunted irately as she made her way to the bathroom.

...

About fifteen minutes later, Tara was back in the kitchen, showered and dressed in jeans and a flannel shirt. Her damp hair was tied in a ponytail, Tara being too lazy to do anything with it.

"Why did you sleep on the couch, sweetheart?"- Gemma asked her worriedly, motioning for Tara to sit.

"I was tired and I came there to rest. I guess I just fell asleep."

It wasn't a lie. She had indeed been tired last night, so much so that this morning she couldn't even remember where she was. Gemma raised her head and looked at her suspiciously although she didn't ask Tara anything else on the subject.

Gemma sat opposite her and poured them both juice. Tara took one of the sandwiches and began eating it. When her stomach rumbled, Tara remembered that she hadn't eaten anything since yesterday's lunch.

"Where's Jax?" – Gemma proceeded with her questioning of Tara between bites.

"I haven't got the foggiest idea. He must have left really early. I assume he would have opened the door if he was home." – came Tara's sarcastic response.

_How would she know where Jax was? It's not like he's reporting to her!_

Gemma observed her daughter-in-law and couldn't help but smile at her. _Witty indeed! _

Tara was the kind of woman she always wanted for her son. Strong, independent, but still aware of the club life and the responsibilities it brought. Those little memories from their past was something Gemma cherished very much, and it pained her to know that so much time had been lost because of the club business.

Gemma had a feeling that if all that shit hadn't gone down, Jax and Tara could have got closer over the years, and maybe they would have already been married and have a kid or two.

She remembered one summer when the Telfords came to visit them in Charming. At the time, Tara was two and a half years old and Jax about four and a half.

Her little boy was so fascinated with the little Irish girl, that no one could separate them.

And to think that he was so shy around her when she was a baby. Now thought, it was obvious Jax was anything but shy. Even before they came, he couldn't contain his excitement when Gemma told him that he would be seeing his little Irish friend again.

The way he looked at her could just melt one's heart. Pure adoration was what it was. He even asked his mom to sit next to Tara at the table. The two would exchange shy smiles and talk in a language only they seemed to understand. They talked too fast and used some incomprehensible words, that everyone else at the table observed the interaction of those two toddlers in awe.

Whenever they were at TM, Jax would take little Tara's hand and take her to garage to show her bikes that the mechanics were repairing. Of course, neither Jax nor Tara had any idea what they were actually doing, but they would nonetheless sit in a corner and watch in amazement as the mechanics did their jobs.

The men would occasionally ask Jax to get some tool for them and the boy would happily oblige, bursting with pride that they'd asked him to help them.

They would sit there for a while, little Jax and Tara, then head to the playground that was made at the lot, Tara always close to him.

The amount of love and care Gemma's eldest son had for Tara was unlike anything she had ever witnessed.

It was pure, undaunted love of two kids.

Gemma of course kept in contact with Chibs's new wife over the years, in spite of the feud, and knew almost everything about Tara. She was amazed by her education, her successes, and most of all she was amazed by the young woman that she had become.

Times like these Gemma wished men weren't that stupid to let business get in the way of family.

It was a shame Jax was an ass now, behaving like a spoiled brat that couldn't see just how great Tara was. Too bad he forgot about her and their time together when they were little.

"Do you like the house?"

Tara smiled and nodded, taking a sip of orange juice. She put down the glass and started cutting a pancake.

"I like it. It's not too big and pretentious, I like that. Although, I have to talk to you about something." – she put the fork and her knife down, taking a deep breath.

"Oh?" - Gemma looked guilty, Tara observed, her brow raised at the older woman.

And Gemma somehow assumed it probably had to do with the nursery. Oh, boy, she was in trouble.

Honestly, she just wanted to speed up the process and make them get it on already. She was getting old, her kids were growing up faster than she would like, and the only thing she wanted was to have grandkids and see her family happy for once.

And she just knew that Jax and Tara would have the cutest kids ever. She could already imagine toddlers running around the house, yelling 'grandma!'. So what? Was it too much of her to ask them to give her at least that?

Tara put the fork on the plate and leaned back on the chair, her eyes fixed on Gemma. She would have let Jax handle this issue, but since Gemma was already there, it was better to get it over with immediately.

"Gemma. I understand you wanted to help and set everything up before I came. And I really appreciate that. However, I was quite frankly shocked to see that you have also included a nursery in your decorating plans."

"Tara-" – Gemma started, wanting to excuse herself, but Tara was having none of it.

"Please, let me finish. The fact is, I don't know your son. I only just met him, and we were both forced into this marriage. Neither you nor my parents can expect us to just go along with it and act like this is some trivial thing. It isn't. This is my life, Jax's life, and our life together we're talking about. We can hardly speak to each other without yelling and cursing. I seriously doubt things will change anytime soon. So to be clear, there will be no baby-making action."

Gemma licked her lips nervously before speaking, a guilty look on her face.

"I was just so excited about this. You two are perfect for each other. You were so cute when you were little that I always imagined you becoming spouses in the future. I know what you're like right now, but it will get better with time. And maybe then, you will thank me for the nursery."

When they were little? Has Gemma gone mad? How could she have paired Jax and her based on the fact what they each looked like in their childhood? It was hardly a way to base somebody's life together.

Yes, she had been a pretty child, and she assumed Jax had been a handsome boy as well, though she'd never seen any pictures of him. What Tara couldn't comprehend was how Gemma could base such assumptions on physical appearance alone.

Tara took a deep breath in order not to yell at Gemma to pay attention and actually listen to what she was saying. She tried to keep her voice normal.

"Ok. I like you, Gemma. But that was overstepping the line. And I do not like to be cornered. I accepted to marry your son, but that is it. Up until now, you and my parents have dictated what we should do. From now on, I'm handling this on my own accord. I will not have you, my parents or anyone else for that matter decide _if_ and _when_ I'll have sex and have children. That is absolutely out of the question."

Gemma was staring at Tara with her mouth opened. This was unexpected. Gemma wasn't used to people standing up to her. But, there was nothing she could say that would get her out of this. Besides, as much as it pained Gemma, Tara was right.

They were both adults and she couldn't impose her desires on them, no matter how much she wanted to knock some sense into both of them.

"I'm sorry, baby. You are absolutely right. I only wanted to make things easier, but I guess I just created an even bigger mess. I just want you guys to be happy, to be free to love each other without the club business between you two like in the past."- she stood up and hugged Tara, gently stroking her back. -"I just want you guys to be happy, together."

_Like in the past? What past? What was Gemma talking about?_

After a few moments Tara hugged her back, still unsure how to take Gemma's apology Obviously, the woman was resolute to make this Jax/Tara thing happen. Tara almost felt sorry for shattering her dreams, but only barely sorry.

"Thank you for everything else." - Tara finished, already tired of speaking about her so-called marriage.

Gemma caressed her cheek and smiled. -"You're welcome. I just know that you two will make this work."

Tara forced a smile, not wanting to disappoint Gemma, but deep down she knew that Gemma's wishes would not come true. Her words echoed that of Tara's father, suffocating her, pain spreading through her body.

Why did people feel entitled to condition her with such requests? Tara was becoming aware that she had no free will, no freedom, and maybe not even a way out of this mess.

Jax and she agreed to keep this charade going for a few months and then end it. There would be no bedroom plays or anything like that. It would be a miracle if they even spoke to each other during that period.

On top of it all, Jax had a steady girlfriend, as weird as it sounded, and she had someone she cared deeply about back in Ireland. Clearly, whatever plans their families had, would never come true.

That, however, made Tara feel bad about the whole arrangement. She just hoped that no one would get hurt when the marriage came to an end.

Because it had to end. Her life was not in America, not in Charming and most certainly not with Jax Teller.

They resumed their breakfast and conversation for a while.

Gemma asked Tara about her life back in Ireland and if she had anyone special there. Gemma was clearly fishing for information, ones Tara most certainly would never provide her with. Tara successfully lied, hoping that her face didn't reveal anything, though she could feel her lips curve into a smile at the mere thought of _him_.

Then Gemma washed the plates and packed them back in the basket. Tara put the leftovers in the fridge in case Jax came back home hungry.

Home as in a place where they live together but separately. Not as their _home_ home. Just to be clear on that.

"Come by TM later." - Gemma said when they were at the door.

"I'm not sure if I can find the way by myself." – Tara chuckled, remembering her fiasco the first time she came to Charming.

She went sightseeing as an excuse to get away from the overwhelming atmosphere at the clubhouse, and two hours later, she had no idea where she was.

Instead of panicking, she tried to find her way back to the clubhouse. The fact that she seemed to have wandered off into some remote part of the town did little to assure her that she would find the way back.

Having no other choice, she called the only local number she had saved in her phone: Jax's. Tara described him in great detail the surrounding area, praying that Jax wasn't that blond and that he was capable of finding her.

He came on his bike, and after taking the mickey out of her, which she did not appreciate at all and which she clearly showed by glaring at him like he was state enemy number one, she climbed onto the back of his bike and reluctantly slid her arms around his torso.

She stubbornly ignored the feel of his ripped abs under her fingers, the way they contracted when he would turn left or right, the warmth emanating from his skin under the thin fabric of his shirt.

When they got back to the clubhouse, Jax of course didn't waste any time to mock her again, causing Tara to burst in anger and start shoving him, all the while yelling how stupid and immature he was being.

He just continued laughing which made her even angrier. Screaming in frustration, she stomped to the clubhouse followed by the sound Jax's laughter.

Gemma's response brought her back to present time.

"Oh, don't worry about that. Jax will take you."

Gemma smiled and put her sunglasses on, then got into her car and drove off.

_Yeah, right, _Tara thought. _Like she would rely on him to take her anywhere..._

Tara went back into the house and checking on the clock to see what time it was, decided to call _him_.

She lay on the couch and dialled his number. After a few rings he answered.

"Hi. I was looking forward to your call." – Rhydian said and Tara could imagine him smiling.

Her lips spread into a wide grin and her stomach fluttered at the sound of his voice. -"Hi. I just wanted to let you know that I have arrived safely."

"God, I miss you, Tara. This feels worse than when you went to England. At least then I knew you'd be back." – his voice seemed mournful and Tara tried not to cry.

Usually, Rhydian was more reserved, hiding his feelings from her. This was an unexpected confession that broke Tara even more.

She took a deep breath as tears sprung to her eyes. -"I miss you too, believe me. Don't think I wish to be here. I'd rather be there with you. This whole situation is driving me mad. I hate that I have to be here."

"Are you angry for some reason? Do you want to tell me about it?" – he sensed that Tara was more than just annoyed.

"She made a fucking nursery! Can you believe it? A nursery! Like I'm going to sleep with him!" – Tara complained, not able to contain herself any longer.

There was a long silence on the other line, that Tara thought Rhydian might have hung up.

"Rhydian?"

She heard a sharp intake of breath, and she could see him running his hand furiously through his hair.

"I'm sorry. This isn't easy for me. Imagining you and him... It rips me apart. I'm sorry. I can only imagine what it must be like for you. I never wanted you to be unhappy. I hate listening to you talk about this and not be able to help you."

Tara was already crying, sobs escaping her lips. She tried to muffle them by covering her mouth with her hand. She could already tell that she would not be able to keep herself under control, so she hurried to end the conversation.

"Nothing's going to happen between us, Rhydian, nothing. Yo-you know it's you I love. Don't worry about me. I'll be ok. I miss you so much. I'll call you soon."

"I love you, Tara. I'm here if you need me."

Tara could feel him struggling to keep himself in check, to not say whatever was on his mind just to not make things more difficult for her. His words caused another wave of tears.

"Goodbye, Rhydian."

"Bye, love."

After they hung up, Tara curled on the couch and started crying uncontrollably. All the pain, frustration, anger, stress, and annoyance that had been building up for the last few months finally caused her to break down.

Her whole body shook as her wails filled the place that was to be her new home.

(I know, no Jax. Sorry about that. He'll be in the next chapter. But you did get to see a glimpse of Tara's relationship with her mystery man, aka Rhydian. And how about Tara's talk with Gemma? Also, Tara's 'blond' remark wasn't meant to offend anyone. Leave me reviews. Love you all xoxo)


	9. What the Fuck Happened to My Boxers?

**A/N:**Sorry for the long wait. The new chapter is here :D Thank you all for sticking around.

Sorry for typos and mistakes.

Happy reading :3

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**Week One – What the Fuck Happened to My Boxers?**

Tara's first week in Charming went surprisingly well. Trinity and Thomas went out of their way to make her feel welcomed into her new family. They took her to the cinema, Trinity went job hunting with her, and Thomas even introduced her to his friends. They were all very pleasant company, one that Tara learnt to love quickly.

Aside from them, Gemma was also resolute in helping Tara adjust to life in Charming and the club by insisting she spend at least a few hours every day with her at Teller-Morrow office, sorting out paperwork and checks.

Nero and she had a few conversations, in which he tried to assure her that over time she would most certainly learn to live there, and that they all had her back.

Tara appreciated very much all their effort, but her heart still yearned for her family back in Belfast. McKenna called her a few times, keeping her up to date with everything that happened there and they texted constantly, but the fact was that it wasn't the same.

Finn, like McKenna, was very supportive and promised her that he would come visit her soon. Her brother did his best to lift her mood, to try to get her to enjoy her new surroundings, even if she disliked Jax. He cracked jokes, told her about Rhydian (reluctantly though, because he wasn't sure their father would like that) and surprisingly enough, he talked awful lot about McKenna.

Tara didn't know what to think of that. She knew they were close, well, all four of them were. Tara, Finn, McKenna, and Rhydian were inseparable in their youth whenever the girls would come home on holiday from their boarding school.

And sure, she had noticed her brother's wandering eye find its way to McKenna no matter where they were. Still though... She would have to ask McKenna.

On the other hand, Fiona's attitude towards her daughter was not helping Tara in the least. No matter how much Tara wanted to sound pleased with this new arrangement just to fool her parents, somehow she always ended up complaining to her mother.

The complaints were usually regarding Jax and his untidiness, him refusing to even acknowledge Tara's existence, leaving her alone for most of the day, and not having the decency to pick up the phone and let her know if he was even going to come home.

To be clear, Tara had no feelings towards this blond biker, at least not the nice ones. Most of the time, the only feelings he evoke in her were anger, annoyance, and frustration.

The fact that he was handsome and seemed to love walking around the house shirtless for no apparent reason put aside (because she was alive after all and having a good looking man in your presence... She wasn't immune to that, ok? Sue her for having eyes!), Tara wasn't sure what to feel. Somehow, her emotions just wouldn't get in order for her to understand anything, to know how show should act.

She was trying to be civil at first. She tried to repress her dislike for him, thinking that maybe they could become friendlier towards each other, since they were going to spend at least a few months in this marriage.

However, all her efforts were fruitless, since Jax's actions proved that he had no intention of becoming friends with her. He was hardly ever home, and even when he was, he spoke to her maybe five sentences in total before going to bed.

Fiona would listen to her daughter and tried to reason with her, but Tara wouldn't have it. And so, Fiona would call her a petulant child and tell her to act her age, and that the more she complained the worst things would be.

Her _not-a-relationship-but-also-not-not-a-relationship_ with Rhydian was taking a toll on her as well. They would Skype almost every day, but seeing him and hearing his voice only made Tara's heart hurt and so she decided they should stick to texts only.

At the moment, Tara was at home, loading the washing machine with her coloured clothes. Jax and her had agreed to wash their own clothes and not to mix them together after Tara refused to touch his, as she had put it, dirty stinking underwear or anything that touched any part of him. (She was just being stubborn and childish, she admitted to herself later. His clothes didn't stink. Matter of fact, they smelled quite nice. Not that she smelled his clothes. Because she didn't. Well, she did sniff his flannel shirt that one time, but that's beside the point. )

Trinity was waiting for her in the living room, her feet perched on the coffee table as she switched through channels. She stopped once she saw that her favourite show was starting.

"Tara, you done? Come on, _Empire_'s about to start. You don't wanna miss Cookie kicking that bitch Anika's ass."

"Yeah. I'm almost done. I just have to figure out how this thing works There're a lot of buttons here. You know what? I'll turn it on in the morning." – she yelled from the laundry room, set next to the would-be nursery.

After talking to Gemma, Tara had packed most of the things and after Jax came home, they put everything into the garage.

She did in fact sleep on that queen-sized bed in the bedroom for one night, Jax and pillow barrier very present. It didn't matter thought. It was like sleeping on a cloud and she didn't want to get up in the morning, being too comfortable to leave the bed.

Of course, Jax just had to wake her up from her wonderful slumber, albeit nicely this time (unlike their first night together in the hotel, when he pulled the duvet off her). Maybe he realised that it was better to wake her up nicely (he made her coffee that time! Yeah, she was just as surprised! Talking about Jax not being a hillbilly as she had initially thought) without making her start her day by yelling at him to leave her be.

Later that same day, she went and bought herself a decent bed with an amazing mattress (not as good as Jax's but it was pretty close) that helped her sleep soundly, and more importantly, she didn't have to listen to Jax's snoring. She suspected half of that 'snoring' was faked, him wanting to piss her off so he could laugh at her later. Well, she wasn't falling for that.

As much as Gemma hated that Jax and Tara were sleeping separately (she made a scene after she had found out), the two seemed more than happy to be as far away from each other as possible.

Tara entered the room carrying two bags of crisps and two bottles of beer. She threw the bags on the sofa and handed one of the bottles to Trinity then plopped on the sofa next to her, her feet joining Trinity's on the coffee table. She opened her bottle then handed the bottle opener to Trinity.

"What episode is this again?" – Tara asked, taking a large chug of her beer.

Trinity opened one of the bags and started eating the crisps. –"The tenth. Judging by the promo, it's gonna be intense." – Trinity opened her bottle, tossing the opener on the table.

"I had no idea we've watched nine episodes yesterday. What am I doing with my life?"- Tara laughed.

After they came back from shopping the day before, Trinity managed to convince Tara to binge-watch the show with her since no one else would, and Tara didn't have the heart to tell her no after she'd been so nice to her. Of course, she didn't regret it. She was hooked from episode one.

Trinity was a lovely company and was the only one who didn't pressure Tara to start anything with Jax for what Tara was very thankful for. It was good to have at least one person on her side.

"You're listening to some great music, watching hot dudes, and Cookie. Is there anything better?"

"I guess not."

The both laughed after which Trinity continued to comment of Andre's physique, saying how she wished he had more shirtless scenes. Tara just shook her head, amused by Trinity's openness. Usually, Trinity was reserved around people, as Tara noticed.

The following hour was spent in gasps, screams, and shocked expressions as the episode revealed many twists. After it finished, Tara and Trinity discussed the characters and what the season finale might bring.

"I just can't see her with him. I don't want to. He hurt her so much. He's a selfish asshole who deserves to die alone."- Trinity exclaimed, taking the last crisp out of the bag.

"I'm completely with you on this. Cookie deserves so much more. And this show wouldn't be half as good if it weren't for her. Though, I think that little girl is too cute to be just a recurring character. They should add her as a regular."

Trinity nodded, picking up the empty beer bottles and carrying them to kitchen.

"Definitely! I mean, we have that bitch cougar and Boo Boo Kitty, but that kid needs to be a regular."

Then they made plans for the following day, and Trinity reminded Tara about Gemma's family dinner.

"I'm still not sure that I should go. Your mum makes it really hard for me with her constant insinuations. You wouldn't believe the havoc she caused just because we emptied the room she had set up as nursery. Even after my conversation with her, she's still resolved to get me and Jax together by hook or by crook." – Tara shook her head in annoyance.

Trinity apologised, rubbing Tara's shoulder. - "Yeah, she tends to be overbearing sometimes. But, trust me. She wouldn't be like this if she didn't really like you. You know, I heard her and dad talk about you guys the other day. Dad kept trying to convince her not to be so pushy, but it's useless. She's like that and there's nothing one can do to change her. From the moment Nero told her about your dad's and his agreement, God! You should have seen her! She was like a crazy person, already planning the wedding without even meeting you. I guess it's 'cause she knew your mom or something."- Trinity finished.

Tara furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. _What? Gemma knew her parents before all this? _

"What do you mean, she knew my mum? Really? How do I not know about this?" – she inquired Trinity.

"I thought you did. Anyway, yeah. She knew her. Apparently, our families were pretty close before shit hit the fan."

"Wow." – was all Tara could say, all sorts of question swarming in her mind.

_Was that the past Gemma had mentioned the other day? Did she really know Jax when they were children?_

Trinity suddenly changed the subject, and they talked for another hour. Then Trinity went home, and Tara was yet again alone with her thoughts, only this time she kept going back to what Gemma had said,

_You two are perfect for each other. You were so cute when you were little that I always imagined you becoming spouses in the future._

Surely this couldn't be true. Jax and her? Together? How did she not remember? How come she didn't remember that past, _if_ there was any past to remember?

It was all too confusing for her. She would have to ask Gemma and Fiona about it.

She took a shower and put on clean underwear and pyjama, then went to sleep, having no desire to wait for her 'husband'.

For a while though she couldn't sleep, still thinking about Gemma and Trinity's words.

What sort of past was there between their families, before all the killing started?

###############################################################################

Jax tried to spend as little time as possible at his new home. It wasn't like he didn't like Tara because he did.

It was more because of his mum and the expectations she had. In more than one occasion she mention how she wanted them to get along and how she expected grandkids soon, because she wasn't getting any younger.

He was sick of the whole marriage story, and it had barely been a week since they came back to Charming and moved into their house. There were too many people meddling in their business, too many people saying what _they_ wanted and what _they_ expected and frankly, Jax didn't give shit about that.

It was his life. His and Tara's and it was on them to decide how to handle it, damn it!

He knew that Tara wasn't to blame for anything, but deep down he thought that maybe if she had rebelled more about marrying him that they might not have been in this situation. It's not like he hated the idea of being married. He just hated that this idea was more important to some than anything else, like say, his and Tara's happiness.

Tara was a good person and always ready to help, though she seemed to lose all her patience when it came to him. Jax just couldn't help himself sometimes: he loved seeing her cheeks turn from soft pale colour to crimson in matter of seconds whenever he would bring her at wit's end. Which happened a lot.

He noticed that in the past few days she grew very distant, so much so that he barely got to see her at all. He didn't want their fake marriage/possible friendship to be like that. Jax wanted to be her friend, he wanted to be able to talk to her without making her angry by saying something inappropriate or testing her patience. So what if they were going to be married for just a few months? There was no need for them to be strangers who barely tolerated each other.

He wasn't sure what caused that change in Tara, although he suspected it had to do with him being away for so long. Jax split his time between the club, his siblings, and his girlfriend, only occasionally visiting his parents' house.

They were having huge problems with the Niners and the new gang, the club spending all its resources on insuring that their shipments were protected. An attack was imminent and no one wanted to risk anything going wrong.

By the time Jax would come home dead tired, fighting to keep his eyes opened, Tara would either already be asleep, watching television or reading, ignoring him completely, save for the occasional 'hello' and ' dinner is in the microwave'.

He grew angry because of her coldness, deciding to ignore her back.

He also did everything he could to avoid Gemma, including hiding at the shop or in the men's room of the garage whenever he saw her approaching.

Nero, unlike Gemma, was more sensible about the whole thing. And even though he was the one to arrange everything, he didn't force Jax to do anything, save to try and talk to Tara and establish friendly relations between them, for everyone's sake.

As much as Jax wanted to start some kind of friendship with Tara to make their marriage more bearable for all the parties involved (including their families because they were more into this marriage than either one of them), somehow they always ended up fighting. She was too hot-headed just like him, and neither one of them knew when to back down.

The fights weren't always about him teasing her relentlessly though the majority of those were in fact his fault. But sometimes even some small thing, something stupid would set them both off and being who they were, they couldn't control themselves nor what they said.

After spending his day with the club, he came home late that night and wanted nothing more but to take a shower. The house was silent when he got back, and he assumed Tara was already asleep, since only the lamp in the living room was turned on.

He didn't bother turning on the other lights or the light in the bathroom, but instead stripped down his dirty clothes, discarding them on the floor and walking into the shower, leaving the door slightly ajar so that the bathroom was illuminate by the light coming from the hallway.

It took him about fifteen minutes to clean himself. He put on his clean white boxers, then went to the laundry room and loaded the washing machine with his dirty clothes, poured the detergent, closed the lid, set the temperature, turned on the machine, and went to bed.

He fell asleep instantly, the stress of the day finally getting to him.

###############################################################################

The next morning, Tara was woken up by the sound of Jax's voice. He was cussing very loudly and yelling her name. She yawned and got up then stretched, and went to see what all the fuss was about.

"Calm down, blondie. What's got your knickers in a twist?" – she asked, sleepily leaning against the doorframe in her oversized pyjama top.

"This! What the fuck, Tara!" – he waved angrily with some dirty cloth in front of her face.

She pushed his hand away, looking at him with a confused expression. -"What is that?"

"THESE ARE MY BOXERS! MY WHITE BOXERS! WHICH ARE NOT WHITE ANYMORE!"

Tara was still feeling sleepy which prevented her from processing anything Jax said. She focused her eyes on his boxers, which were indeed not white.

Instead, they had pinkish, greenish, bluish, and blackish stains on them. _What in the bloody hell?_

Her eyes widened in realisation. She ran to the washing machine and started pulling out her shrunken and now very colourful shirts, tops, and bras. Her dark jeans were now pale and all the fabrics felt odd under her touch. Not one item was left in its normal colour.

"NO! NO! NO! You idiot! Why didn't you check to see if the machine was already loaded!" – she yelled, staring at her ruined clothes in disbelief.

"Because it was my day to wash the clothes! And look at my clothes now! All my boxers are ruined, all my shirts are stained because you were so stupid as to load the machine WITH YOUR FUCKING CLOTHES!" – he retorted, fuming in anger and getting into her face.

"You're calling _me_ stupid? Who was the idiot that didn't check to see if the machine was loaded? Are you blind? Or were you loading it in the dark?" – she said, her arms akimbo, her jaw twitching.

"I did load it in dar-" – he started but she interrupted him.

"A-HA! " – exclaimed Tara triumphantly, -"There you go! It was your fault!" – she pointed her finger at him.

"But it was my turn to wash my WHITE clothes! What were your coloured ones doing there in the first place?"- he started picking up his washed clothes off the floor and tossing them into the laundry bin.

Tara picked up her ruined clothes too and tossed it into her laundry bin. - "It was my turn. And what kind of an imbecile washes clothes without turning on the light? Look at this. I have no idea what to do with these now." – she picked up her top and assessed the damage. It was of no use anymore.

Only when her focus was no longer on the washing machine and her ruined shirts, did she realise that Jax was yet again practically naked, save for the boxers that hung low on his hips, the v line so painfully visible she had to stifle a moan. His hair was tousled and his goatee was longer than she last remembered, making him look more masculine.

Her gaze lingered maybe too long on his bare chest and abs, then following his happy trail before it reached the hem of his boxers. She shook her head to get her thoughts in order.

_Stop it, Tara_, she ordered herself.

Jax's gaze on the other hand was fixed on Tara's chest. That is, on her unbuttoned pyjama top which only barely covered her breasts.

He gulped, realising that this was not something he should be focusing on. Her chest was heaving, practically hypnotising him that he almost wished the fabric would just move a little more so he could see-

When he raised his eyes towards her face, he was met by the angriest look he had yet seen.

"You're buying me new clothes, moron." – was all Tara said before storming out of the bathroom leaving Jax somewhat confused, since he didn't know whether she caught him looking at her chest, and also annoyed because, dammit, IT WAS HER FAULT!

(Leave me reviews, express your opinion. Love you all, xoxo)


	10. Are You Trying to Kill Me?

**A/N: New chapter!**

**For reference:**Tara is 26, Jax 28, Tommy 22, Trinity 18, Opie 28, Finn 28, and McKenna 26 years old.

Thanks for your reviews. And just fyi: check out my profile whenever there aren't updates in a long time. Chances are you will find the reason for it there.

Happy reading :3

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**Week Two – Are You Trying to Kill Me?**

The evening was suffocating with the unbearable heat, with only slight rush of breeze now and then. The traffic had almost ceased, but the streets roared with the youth that were headed to few still existing local clubs.

Tara observed them wishfully, envying them for their carefree attitude and the fact that they probably had no worries in their lives. And then here she was, carrying a bowl of her homemade lasagne in her hands and trying not to trip over her feet as she walked to Gemma's house. Jax was walking beside her, his hands tucked neatly into his jeans pockets, appearing lost in his own thoughts, occasionally stealing glances at Tara.

Her teal-coloured short sleeve dress fluttered around her knees as she stomped the pavement in her black pumps, paying no attention to him.

After the whole debacle with their clothes, they hadn't spoken a word to each other. Tara knew it was his fault and that he should apologise to her, for her clothes and for insulting her. Jax of course, thought it her fault, and he wished nothing more but to hear _I'm sorry_ from her lips.

They were both too stubborn, failing to acknowledge the fact that both of them were wrong. It wasn't Tara's turn to wash her clothes, nor was it Jax's. However, the newly-weds loved all too much to quarrel, leaving no space for any kind of compromise.

As usual (what Tara saw as usual at least), Jax avoided spending the night at their house and by extension being anywhere near her, and Tara avoided talking about him with Trinity and Gemma, and just letting herself enjoy other people's company instead of his.

She would be lying if she were to say that she was ok with how things were going. After all, they were supposed to be partners in this. Being home alone all the time wasn't something she liked. Constant fears of someone breaking in kept her up most nights, and she fought the urge to ask Thomas or Trinity to stay over.

They were supposed to be making progress, getting to know each other, not insulting and fighting. It was too exhausting to have to think about it all the time though she couldn't help herself. Tara just couldn't understand why they always made one step forward then two steps back.

Jax stood abruptly and pulled her gently by the elbow when they'd reached Gemma's driveway. Tara flinched, the physical contact between them all too odd for her.

A hurt expression flashed across Jax's face as he let go of her arm; then he cleared his throat, seemingly disguising that he was offended by her reaction.

"Listen. Can you not mention anything about me not sleeping at our place to mom? She'll freak out. You've seen how she reacted when you told her about your bedroom. That was a mild reaction compared to what she'll do if she finds out about this."

Tara narrowed her eyes, watching him warily while balancing the heavy bowl in her hands.

"Well then, maybe you should come home once in a while." – her voice oozed with sarcasm and for a moment Tara could swear she sounded jealous.

_Which was not the case_, Tara told herself. She was only hurt he didn't seem to care about her or her feelings. Jax looked at her in confusion, his brows slightly raised.

She shook her head before correcting her statement. -"What I meant to say was, why you think she would freak out that much? I know that Gemma tends to overreact, but I highly doubt she would rip your head off because of that. And why do you think I would discuss about our life with her?"

He let out a loud sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose. -"Because. My mom hates Vivian, and if you tell her that I've been sleeping somewhere else, she'll know. I'm sure she'll put two and two together and she'll kill me. And it's not that I think you discuss us with my mother, it's that I hope it won't slip."

"Who's Vivian?" – asked Tara in confusion, scrunching her face.

"M-my girlfriend. Remember, I told you about her."– Jax answered hesitantly. –"Listen, just don't say anything about anything, ok? If she asks, we're fine, everything's fine, and there's nothing for her to worry about. 'key?"

Tara concluded that there were things Jax wasn't telling her, but rather than asking him to elaborate further, she just nodded. Jax gave her a small smile, and for a second there her anger melted and she smiled back.

He gestured for her to go first and Tara walked past him, climbing the stairs. Jax followed, black bow on her back catching his attention for a second, that he almost missed a stair and fell face first. Luckily for him, that didn't happen. Before he even had the chance to ring the bell, the door opened. Nero beamed when he saw them and invited them in, taking the bowl from Tara and closing the door.

"Mijo, I thought I taught you to be a gentleman. "Why'd you let her carry this all the way here? "- Nero scolded Jax.

His son just smirked. –"I said I would, but she wouldn't let me."

Tara punched him in the arm. –"Liar. He didn't even offer to help me. It's no surprise to me." – she finished and went to join Gemma who was setting the table.

When she heard footsteps, Gemma lifted her head and smiled at Tara. She put the last of cutlery on the table and went around the table to hug her. -"I'm so glad you came. I barely had the chance to see you. You've been spending all this time with Trinity and Thomas."

Tara hung her purse on one of the chairs and took the napkins and started arranging them neatly over the plates.

"I know, sorry. But they are so much fun, both of them. They remind me a bit of McKenna, they both have some of her traits." - she smiled fondly at the memory of her cousin.

"I'm glad you get along with them. I wish that were the case with Jax." – Gemma said with a sad smile. –"Well, I'll go get the food. You finish with the napkins and come help me."

"Sure."

Just as she placed the last napkin on the plate, Tara felt strong arms wrapping around her and lifting her off the ground. She started squealing and flapping her arms. -"Let me go, Thomas or so help me God..."

He laughed, dropping a loud kiss on the back of her neck and letting her go. Tara turned with a look like she was about to strangle him, before a smile spread across her face and she pulled him into a hug.

"You fool. You know I hate it when you do that."- she said, kissing his cheek.

"Oh, come on. You know I love to tease you." – his eyes were locked with hers, something mischievous sparkling in them as he turned his gaze to something behind her.

Before Tara could say anything though, she heard someone clearing their throat.

"Am I interrupting?" – it sounded forced, spoken through gritted teeth.

Tara turned and saw Jax standing with a pot in his hands and a displeased look on his face. She could almost swear that he cast a death glare in Thomas's direction, but when he blinked the look in his eyes returned to that of an impassive observer, focusing on her.

His cheeks were heated, his jaw clenched, his eyes searing into hers. _OOOkay, something's wrong with this sight, _she thought. _What the Hell was that reaction about?_

"No, Thomas was just being silly." – she dismissed his question with a wave of her hand and went to the kitchen. She felt Jax's eyes on her back but she ignored it and went to say hi to Trinity who was coming downstairs.

Jax was being all shades of weird today.

###############################################################################

"What the fuck was that?" – asked Jax, putting the pot on the table louder than intended, the cutlery clattering against it.

"What, bro?" – Thomas pulled a chair and sat, crossing his arms on his chest and smirking devilishly at Jax.

It took Jax all his willpower not to say or do something he would later regret.

"Don't play dumb with me, kid. If I see you so much as looking at her like she's one of your fuck buddies, you and I are going to have serious problems." – Jax threatened, hoping Thomas would take his words seriously.

Jax knew Thomas was playing some kind of game here, he just wasn't sure what his goal was. What he did know was that he wasn't going to let his litter brother hurt Tara in any way.

He was aware of the time the two were spending together and it made him sick the thought that something could actually happen between them. Thomas was an immature boy not fit for Tara.

She was too good for him. Knowing his brother, he was just up for some fun and saw Tara as his latest victim. Just because Tara and he weren't an actual married couple didn't mean he would let just anyone mess with her.

As if reading Jax's thoughts, Thomas tilted his head and raised his eyebrows. – "You treat her like shit and dare to tell me to keep away from her? Fuck off, Jackson. I'll do what I want."

Jax shook his head and laughed menacingly. –"This is your first and last warning, boy. Don't play games with her. Stay away from her, I mean it." - he said a bit too loudly but luckily only Thomas heard him.

He went to find Nero, leaving Thomas alone in the dining room.

Thomas laughed to himself, enjoying the fact that he managed to upset Jax. Apparently, he was the only one who saw what Jax was trying to hide. He knew his brother too well, and no matter how tough Jax pretended to be, Thomas always saw right through him.

He took out his phone and messaged his friends, all the while thinking what else he could do to gauge Jax's reaction.

###############################################################################

Dinner went surprisingly well, with everybody in great mood, except for Jax whose jaw would twitch every time Thomas joked with Tara and flashed her his Teller smirk. His pulse was racing, his palms sweating and he was in a bad need of a cigarette.

Nero was talking about his life before SAMCRO, entertaining everyone with his stories. Gemma would interrupt him occasionally just to tease him or remind him of a detail he might have forgotten to tell.

Jax was so distracted with his own problems that he didn't even hear his mother call his name.

"Jax? You ok, baby?"

"Ha? Yeah, ma. Just tired."

Gemma gazed at him for a few moments, before repeating her question. -"Would you mind going to store? We don't have any cake. Trin was supposed to buy it but she went to Ashley's after school and came home late."

Jax said yes and left, only to return fifteen minutes later with a chocolate covered cake in his hands. Trinity got up and brought plates and forks with her, while Thomas brought the knife, handing it to Jax, his hand grazing Tara's shoulder on his way to his seat.

When he sat down and glanced at Jax, he could swear his brother had a murderous glare in his eyes. He stifled a laugh. It was too much fin messing with Jax like this.

Jax cut the cake, handing them each a delicious-looking piece. When he got to Thomas he almost shoved the cake in his face but decided against it. He wasn't going to make a scene.

Trinity dug eagerly, mumbling with her mouth full how amazing it tasted and asking Jax something, distracting him from his thoughts.

...

Tara poked the cake with her fork, then leaned forward to smell it. She wanted to ask Jax what kind of cake it was just in case, but Gemma asked her something, completely breaking her train of thought. Soon, Tara was engaged in a conversation and she didn't even notice when she put a bite of the cake in her mouth.

It didn't take long for her allergy to kick in. She could feel her throat constricting, and hives breaking out on her face. She started gasping for air, desperately reaching for her purse.

Everyone stopped eating once they saw her.

"Tara?" – Jax dropped his fork and turned to her with concern in his voice. His eyes widened when he saw her red face.

Everyone went in full panic mode, dropping their forks, and Gemma rushed to kitchen to fetch her a glass of water.

Tara couldn't breathe let alone utter a single word. With one hand massaging her swollen throat, she pointed frantically at her purse. -"M-my epipe-" – was all she was able to say before collapsing on the floor, her lips already swollen and numbing.

Jax jumped off his chair, yelling her name and rummaging through her purse, then emptying the content of her purse on the floor. He grabbed the epipen and took off the lid, but he had no idea what to do with it.

Tara pointed at her thigh, her face becoming scarlet by the second as she gasped for air. Nero shouted her name, yelling on the phone at the dispatcher to send an ambulance.

Jax lifted the hem of her dress hastily, ignoring the softness of her skin under his palm and plunged the needle into her thigh with a shaky hand. She choked out a cry, wincing when the cold tip came in contact with her skin and pierced through it.

As the epinephrine kicked in, Tara began to feel slightly better, or at least able to breathe.

"The fuck happened?" – Thomas asked, scratching nervously the back of his head while Trinity wiped tears from her puffed face.

Jax lifted Tara off the floor and pulled her into his arms, her back against his chest as he stroked her hair, blinking away the tears.

She felt him tremble behind her, his soothing voice whispering in her ear. He sounded scared.

"Are you trying to kill me?" – she said after a few moments.

As it turns out, Tara was allergic to peanuts. And the cake that Jax bought - was peanut butter cake. He felt awful for yet again getting off on the wrong foot with her. It was like something conspired against him constantly.

"I swear to God I had no idea. I wouldn't do this on purpose."

"Relax, Teller. I know you're a moron, but you're not a killer." – she said jokingly, massaging the sore spot on her thigh and showing no signs of getting up or moving away from Jax anytime soon. His hard chest was comforting and warm and she wished she could just snuggle against him.

Something in her words struck him. _You're not a killer. Oh, if you only knew_, he thought regretfully.

He didn't mind holding her, unconsciously caressing hair, chasing away the thought of what could have happened...

Her face was still covered in hives but the swelling was not as bad as it was, and not three minutes later, two EMTs came and took her to the hospital. Jax insisted he be with her, while the rest of them followed in Nero's car.

###############################################################################

"I'm sorry, Tara."- he said once they were settled in the back of the ambulance, and one of the EMTs gave Tara an oxygen mask.

She patted his back. –"Don't worry, I'll be fine. Now we can cross this of the list 'what not to do to your pretend-spouse.'"

He smiled shyly at her, and took her hand without even realising it. -"You'll be ok, right?"

She nodded, squeezing his hand reassuringly, then putting the mask back on her face.

(Please, leave a review. Let me know what you think. If you liked it, please tell me why you liked it, I really want to know. And if you didn't like it, I also want to know why. There's gotta be more to your opinion on the story than simple _I liked it_, much as I love knowing that you did, I also want to know why specifically. Till the next time, xoxo)


	11. Nurse Tara, Patient Jax

**A/N:**Are we ready for a brand new chapter of WMH?

Excuse the typos and mistakes.

Happy reading :3

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**Week Three – Nurse Tara, Patient Jax**

Tara was just finishing preparing dinner for herself when she heard footsteps coming towards the kitchen.

"Hey."

She turned around to see Jax, all haggard, in dirty clothes and with even dirtier hair. He had an exhausted look on his face, and it looked like he could barely stand on his feet.

This was the second time that week he came home looking like someone had beaten him up. Tara was too afraid to ask what really happened, too afraid to hear the answer. Deep down she knew it had to do with the club and probably those Niners Jax mentioned some weeks ago when they were coming back to Charming from their wedding.

As much as she liked having him accompanying her at the table almost every evening that week, seeing him liked that pulled at her heart. They became closer after her near-death experience and Tara had to admit she started caring for him more than she thought she would when they first engaged in this adventure called marriage.

"What in the world happened to you?" – exclaimed Tara, her eyes wide in shock as she took in his appearance.

"We had some run in with another MC. Long story short, I somehow ended up in a ditch, but luckily my bike's ok." – he replied calmly, pulling out a chair to sit.

Tara rushed to him, placing her hand on the chair, or to be more precise, on his hand.

"Oh, no. You're not going to sit in my kitchen looking like that. Go get yourself cleaned first. And we should check you for any injuries. I hardly believe that you even managed to walk to the front door."

Jax rolled his eyes at her, but obliged all the same without uttering a word.

He went to the bathroom, and Tara waited for him outside. She heard the shower being turned on and assumed he must have got in already. She got in and picked up his dirty clothes and sneakers, all the while with her back turned to the shower curtain.

"Check yourself for injuries. You don't look that well. Maybe we should take you to hospital." – she yelled over the sound of water running.

"Nah. Don't worry, I'm fine. Just some bruises here and there and some minor cuts. Nothin' too serious." – he answered although she heard him clearly yelp and wince several times.

"You sure you're ok?"

"Yeah, Tara. Seriously, I'm fiiine" – he breathed out loudly as he probably hurt himself again.

Tara didn't believe him at all. Falling off one's bike and ending up in a ditch ought to leave more than a few bruises. Nevertheless, Tara decided against any further inquiry of the matter, seeing how Jax didn't seem to be in a sharing mood. Besides, she would most certainly have to check up on him. Then she would see for herself how bad it really was.

Putting his clothes into the laundry basket, she couldn't help but notice a rather large blood stain on the front of his shirt. Shaking her head, she tried to dismiss all the memories that came rushing into her mind.

After all, wasn't this what they all did? Her father, Finn, Nero, Jax, and someday maybe even Thomas. They were all bound to this world, unable to escape it.

And the saddest part of it all was that even the women were bound to it, whether they like it or not. They were bound to watch their man being injured and killed for the sake of this fucking club. Sometimes even their children died, sometimes they themselves died. It was all for the club and because of the club.

Was it worth it? She knew it wasn't.

Growing up and witnessing her family members die one by one, Tara made a decision not to be tied to the club in any way. She stayed out of their business and never inquired about shady jobs she knew well they did. She fought tooth and nail to talking Finn and Rhydian out of joining that hazardous world, but to no avail.

And even though she had plenty of opportunities and quite a few men after her, she put her foot down on having anything to do with any of them as long as they belonged to the environment she so desperately wanted to get away from.

It was the reason she never accepted Rhydian's courtship or his marriage proposals. No matter how much she loved him (and she had loved him since she was a grumpy six-year-old who got mad at him every time he teased her and threw mud at her, ruining her favourite white dress! but whom she secretly liked because he would come to her house when she was ill and refused to go until she was feeling better), she just couldn't bear to think what their future would be like.

Even though Rhydian wasn't in a member of SAMBEL, his ties to the club were strong nonetheless. Just like Finn and her, he grew up in that environment and just like Finn, he found it hard to resist the calling of the SAMBEL life. He became the club's lawyer, assisting in whatever trouble they would get themselves into.

Over the years, Tara never stopped hoping that one day, during his frequent and always romantic visits to her in England, he would tell her that he had changed his mind and that he chose her over the club. She often dreamt that he would come out of nowhere and whisk her away from everything and everyone, take her to some romantic place and marry her. She dreamt of children and quiet life with her beloved.

And it never happened nor would it ever happen. Her hopes were just that: hopes of a young and naive girl who wanted security and happiness. It took her long time to accept that her happiness with Rhydian would never be a reality, as Rhydian couldn't leave the club that had given him everything when he had nothing.

Not even for her, the girl he loved since that sunny June day when she glued his sneakers to the floor after she saw him sharing an ice cream with Ima Jensen, who later rubbed in Tara's face how Rhydian liked her better.

"I'll bring you something clean to wear. Don't get out just yet." – she yelled when the sound of the shower ceased.

She came back a few moments later carrying clean underwear (which she took from his dresser with her eyes closed, barely even touching the fabric), an undershirt and grey track bottoms. The items were handed to him via the half open door and Tara went back to the kitchen to set the table.

After he got dressed, Jax joined her in the kitchen, stopping tentatively at the threshold, unsure whether or not he should be there at all.

"Will you be joining me?" – asked Tara, holding two plates in her hands.

"If you don't mind. I'm kind of starving." – offering her a half-smile because his face hurt, he sat at the table as Tara put the oven mitts on and took the rectangular bowl out of the oven, placing it on the table.

"That looks good, Tara." – Jax noted cheerfully when she put three spoonfuls of rice and vegetables on his plate, along with two chicken drumsticks.

She nodded, putting some on her plate too, handing him the cutlery then sitting across from him. They proceeded to eat in silence, forks and knives scraping the plates being the only sound in the room.

Both of them were clearly avoiding the elephant in the room, just occasionally glancing at one another.

"So. Any other allergies I should know about?"

Tara lifted her gaze towards him. -"Stupidity." – she answered coolly, then smirked after she saw his frozen expression. –"Just kidding. No, why? Plotting ways to kill me, are you, Teller?" – she cocked her eyebrow in amusement.

"Ha ha ha. Very funny." – he said with mock laughter, his face twisting in a grimace as he realised just how much his ribs hurt when he laughed. -"No. I just want to be sure that the next cake I bring won't kill you. Or any other food for that matter."

Tara chewed on her food, all the while looking at him.-"No, just peanuts and products based on peanuts. I had no idea you were planning on bringing any food into this house. It's wonder if you show up yourself. You bringing food? Now that would be a miracle."

"I see you're into teasing me. And here I am, worrying about you." – it was his turn to tease.

"Ha ha ha. Now who's being funny?" – she rolled her eyes.

They continued with their meal when Jax spoke again.

"Actually, I wanted to talk to you. About Vivian." – he seemed quite nervous.

Tara frowned. –"Vivian? Oh, right. Your girlfriend. What about her?"

Jax took a deep breath and tried to focus on what he wanted to say, but it was quite difficult for him to do it because he wasn't sure whether or not he should trust her. If she were to say anything to Gemma, his mother would most certainly do something stupid, like start a fight with Vivian or get angry and refuse to talk to him like the last time.

However, this was Tara. Over the course of these few weeks he got to know her a bit better, trying to build his friendship with her. And wasn't the basis of a good friendship mutual trust?

"Well, she wants to meet you. You know, you being my fake wife and all..."

Tara contemplated about what Jax had said. She was unsure on how to proceed. All in all, she liked the idea of meeting this girl, but at the same time she had a feeling that their meeting would start something she wasn't quite certain she wanted to happen.

Obviously, Jax was hiding this relationship from his mother and everyone else, meaning that something must have happened before with her, something that made him hide it in the first place.

Also, why did the girl want to meet her? Sure, she was Jax's fake wife, but really. What would be the purpose?

She wasn't really keen on the idea, saying yes just because of Jax. Lately they'd grown closer and she didn't want to jeopardise their friendship.

"I should like to meet her, of course. However, why do I have a feeling that there is more to this story?" – she said eventually.

"I already told you that no one knows about her. They day I started going out with her was the day my mom told me about you and this... arrangement. I told her about Vivian and you can imagine her reaction." – Jax confessed.

Oh, yes. Tara could most definitely imagine Gemma's reaction. And she could bet that the woman did not offer a warm welcome to her son's lady friend, mostly because Gemma didn't seem the type of person who would accept anyone doing anything against her wishes.

"Yeah, well, it's Gemma. You've warned me times and times of her temper and I can see how things might have gone."

Jax nodded. –"After that, I never mention her again. Mom just assumed we've broken up like she 'advised' me to."

"But you didn't. There is more to this, but I see that you're not up for talking. Tell your girlfriend to ring me up."

"Will do. Thank you. I appreciate what you're doing."

"No problem, really." – Tara said with a small smile, -"I'm sure she's a lovely person."

###############################################################################

After they dined, Tara washed the plates and tidied the house a bit, while Jax went to his room, closing the door behind him.

It was already eleven o' clock when Tara washed her teeth and changed into her pyjamas, when she decided to check on Jax. Something was off...

"Jax?" – she called, knocking on his bedroom door.

"Yeah?" – came a breathless answer.

Tara made a face, instinctively moving away from the door. -"Oh my God! Are you masturbating? Please don't tell me I just interrupted you masturbating!"

"What? No, no. For fuck sake, just come in!" – he yelled through the door.

Hesitantly, she opened the door, squinting as if expecting to find him with his hand in his boxers.

"Jesus Christ, come on. Open your eyes."

"Are you decent?" – she asked firmly, still not believing him.

"Yes, woman! Damn it!" – He yelled then yelped.

Tara opened her eyes to find Jax lying on his back, breathing heavily with his hand pressed against the left side of his torso. Tentatively, she approached him, her brows furrowing as she assessed his pained expression.

"What's wrong?"

"I think I might have underestimated that fall. It hurts when I move. And breathe. And laugh. Actually, it hurts no matter what I do, period."

Tara stretched out her hand and slowly lifted his undershirt. She gasped when she saw a large black bruise. -"Oh. That must hurt like hell. I really think I should drive you to hospital, have you checked out."

"Nah. I-I'll be ok by mornin'."

Tara stood by his bedside a few moments then spoke. -"I'll go get some ice."

She came back shortly carrying a bag of frozen peas. She climbed on the bed and pressed the bag gently against the bruise.

"Fuuuuck! That's fucking cold!" – he jumped slightly, bending his body which only caused him more pain. He fell back on the bed.

"Oh, Shut up. You knew what you were getting yourself into. Don't be a pussy. This is for your own good. Hopefully by tomorrow it will hurt less."

Tara held the bag against the bruise for a while as Jax tried to make small talk with her, which resembled more to teasing than actually talking. As the look on her face changed from mild amusement to annoyance, so did his voice became more silent, until he stopped talking altogether.

Tara yawned and cast a glance at Jax, noticing that he had already fallen asleep, his breathing even. She got up slowly and pulled his undershirt down, then pulled the covers up, tucking him in. Then, she left his room and went to the kitchen where she emptied now unfrozen peas into a bowl and put it in the fridge.

She went to her bedroom and not long after that, Tara too drifted off to sleep. Her dreams were assaulted by white shirts stained with blood, Jax's screams as he bled out and her choked sobs as she begged him not to die.

She had woken up at least five times that night, each time covered in sweat and tears, rushing to Jax's room just to make sure he was alright, just to see for herself that her dreams were just dreams, that he was fine.

By the next morning, Tara already decided to take him to the hospital much to his persistent protests.

...

Tara was sitting in the waiting room while doctor Arton was dealing Jax. Dealing, because for an adult he was sure as hell behaving like a child. She had to drag him to see a doctor and when she finally made it, Jax almost had a fight with the doctor, claiming that he was fine and didn't need anyone poking and probing him. Tara left him in doctor's care, slightly laughing at his angry expression when she saw that she was leaving him 'all alone'. Honestly, what a child!

She was absentmindedly leafing through some magazine now, fighting her urge to burst open that door and see for herself what was taking them that long.

She thought it was going to be over quickly, but now she was panicking. What if those bruises weren't just bruises? What if he was bleeding internally? What if he broke something?

Her thoughts were interrupted by someone's tapping on her shoulder.

"Excuse me. Are you Tara?"

(Reviews and opinions are welcomed. Love you all xoxo)


	12. My Food Won't Be Touching Your Genitalia

**AN:** I know this is not the best chapter, but I kind of thought you might want to read something so here you go. Don't forget to leave a review and tell me what you think.

Tara's brother is played by Colin Donnell  
Tommy is played by Travis Fimmel  
McKenna by Emily Bett Rickards

Vivian is played by the drop-dead-gorgeous Sarah Shahi and Rhydian by Gabriel Macht

And Tara has a Tom Hiddleston kind of accent (just in case you forgot!)

A very happy birthday to Janet McCormick! I wish you all the best, dear! :D This one's for you :3

Excuse the mistakes and typos.

Happy reading :3

* * *

**Week Four – My Food Will not Be Touching Your Genitalia!**

Tara was lying on her bed in her jeans shorts and black top, her hair gathered in a ponytail at the top of her head. She was currently Skyping with Finn, when McKenna's cheerful face appeared on the screen.

"Hi, Tara!" – the blonde greeted happily, settling on the couch next to Finn, but not before making him scoot over so she too could see Tara more clearly.

"McKenna? What're you doing at Finn's? I thought you were out." – Tara asked.

McKenna and Finn exchanged glances before they both burst out laughing.

"Sorry. Yeah, I was supposed to go out with some of my colleagues, but Finn said I can't miss this game tonight. He practically threatened to come to the pub and drag me out so, yeah. I'm here now."

"Oh. So, what's up with you two? Anything interesting going on in your lives? 'Cause mine sucks right now." - she rolled over on her back and sat the laptop against her raised knees.

"Nothing much." – McKenna replied taking a sip of beer. –"Job, home, I sometimes go out, but it's nothing really. Honestly, I thought this job was going to be much more interesting than it is. I'm just filing some documents and reports; it got boring after the first week."

Tara saw the disappointment on her face and she wished things were better for McKenna.

"Oh, sweetie. Maybe this is just the first phase, you know. Maybe later they'll give you more responsible thing to do." – Tara tried to cheer her up.

"Oh, McKenny, come on. Don't let that shit of a current job bring you down." – Finn bumped his shoulder with hers, causing her to let out a small laugh. –"Tara Grace is right. You just have to prove you're up for a challenge, make these fools see how awesome you are."- he said, looking at her with a small smile playing on his lips.

McKenna looked at him for a few moments before she smiled back at him, bumping his shoulder.

"You think I'm awesome! This goes on record! You heard that, right?" – McKenna gloated before asking Tara.

"You are, but don't let that go to your head. This was a one-time-only kind of compliment."

Tara laughed, rolling her eyes and shaking her head at the craziness of her brother and McKenna.

"Yeah ,I heard that. Sorry, Finnegan, you shouldn't have said anything. That sentence will haunt you for the rest of your life."

"You mean, McKenny here will haunt and annoy me with it." – he nodded in McKenna's direction.

"Hey! I'm not annoying! I'm not." – the blonde exclaimed, punching his shoulder.

"Ouch! "

"Oh, grow a pair."

"Hey, you two!" – Tara yelled.-"I'm here too. Or have you forgotten about me already?"

She managed to draw their attention back to herself, but not before Finn and McKenna gave each other a glare.

"Yeah, sorry." – Finn turned his head back to the screen. "Have you had the chance to open the wedding gifts yet? I was sure you'd congratulate me on my most exquisite taste." – he wiggled his eyebrows.

Tara frowned. As it happened, she had completely forgotten about the wedding presents. Amidst her new job, TV show nights with Trinity, and 'buddy nights' with Thomas and his friends, there was no time for her to think of anything else.

"I've completely forgotten about it, guys. Finn, what did you get me? I hope it's not something nasty." – she prayed it wasn't anything in Finn's usual fashion, otherwise she was sure she would fly back home and beat the crap out of him.

Her brother promised it was nothing like it, and that he was on his best behaviour when he was choosing the present for her and Jax. Tara showed her clear disbelief in his words, but made no further questions. Instead, she let him fill her in on the situation at home with their parents.

According to some of the previous conversations she had with McKenna, her mum and dad had been fighting a lot. It was a matter rather unusual for them. Tara couldn't remember ever hearing them fight. Of course, occasional quarrels did happen, but fights?

"Dustin told me they are at it almost every day. I'm afraid it will only get worse." – Finn said, sighing.

"What are they fighting about?" – asked Tara worriedly, her eyes filling with tears.

Even at the age of twenty-six, she felt like a little girl every time her parents were mentioned. Her love for both of them was so immense, that this kind of information filled her with dread. She feared that their fights might grow into something much worse, and if that happened...

"That's the thing. No one knows! Mum just randomly snaps at da', and he just shakes his head and yells back. I tried talking to them, but they just brush me off."

McKenna assured them it was just a phase, a weird one, but a phase. They all knew Fiona and Chibs and there was no way those two could stay mad at each other for long. Tara and Finn hoped it was true.

They ended their conversation with Finn promising to look into this bizarre happening then saying goodbye as the game was just starting.

After she turned her laptop off and disposed it on her nightstand, Tara started pondering about what she'd witnessed just a few minutes ago.

McKenna and Finn.

Since she came to Charming, Tara had been in contact with both Finn and her cousin, and it seemed rather odd the many times each of their names was mentioned in their individual conversations with Tara.

At first it was nothing, but after a while Tara realised that Finn kept telling her where McKenna and he had gone, where she had taken him or vice versa, and McKenna kept telling her how much fun they had had or how they played pranks on SAMBEL newbies, so much so, that there appeared to be no events or moments these two were without each other.

As much as Tara wanted to have something happen between her best friends (because she loved them both to death and would do anything for them), she was afraid to get her hopes up.

She still didn't manage to speak to McKenna alone enough to ask her about it since Finn was always at her place or with her whenever she and Tara talked. And asking Finn first... Tara would rather avoid that. Firstly, she had to talk to McKenna and get to the bottom of the situation, and then she would talk to Finn.

And if there really was something there... Tara would most certainly jump with glee at the prospect.

Ever since her uncle Brennan and his wife Siobhan brought home a shy five-year-old girl with blonde pigtails and the largest blue eyes Tara had ever seen, the bond between two girls was created and it only grew stronger over the years.

Tara considered her her sister, her best friend, one of few people she truly trusted. Even though they weren't bound by blood, she was family in every sense of that word.

Growing up surrounded by boys and men, the two were raised and looked after as if they were royalty. Everyone was fiercely protective of them, Finn and Rhydian especially.

And even though over time Tara noticed some sparks between McKenna and Finn, she never considered it a possibility until one night McKenna ended up in hospital because she had to undergo appendectomy. Finn was out of his mind, pacing up and down, looking like a madman.

It wasn't until he got to actually see McKenna some hours later that he obliged to go home, change and have something to eat.

Seldom had Tara witness her brother look so broken in one moment and vibrant the next when he'd seen McKenna safe and sound.

From then on she pondered on the possibility of these two being together as a couple and Tara found it that she wouldn't hate that. Quite opposite, actually. She loved the idea.

So, Tara decided, some McKenna-questioning was in order later.

###############################################################################

When Jax came home that afternoon, he found Tara flicking through some magazine. It was probably her day off.

Ever since she took him to hospital the week before and Viv and she met, there'd been some strain in their friendship. Viv insisted he spend time at hers, just until he's better. She was a nurse and it was a lot easier than to come every day to his and Tara's house, risking Gemma seeing her.

Tara said she was ok with that, even helping Viv by packing some of his things and taking them to Viv's.

Jax wanted them to get along for all their sakes. He knew Viv wasn't the jealous type, and Tara was a pretty awesome person once they both stopped acting like brats and started talking like normal people did, without bickering all the time.

So, hardly seeing Tara that week wasn't benefiting their friendship, and he was sure she was angry at him because of that. But since she hadn't spoken with him much for the last few days, he decided to ignore it, thinking it was for the best to leave her be and talk to her whenever she was ready to make the first step.

Taking off his kutte and sneakers, he sat next to her on the couch.

"Hi." – he said, letting out a loud sigh.

"Hi there, _stranger_." – she emphasised the last word. –"Long time no see."

Over the last four weeks their relationship had improved, but Jax was still spending most of his time out, either with club or Vivian (now that she was taking care of his injuries), leaving Tara to suspect that her company was not very welcomed. And all she wanted was to get along with everybody and to know that, when all of this is over, it would end on a good note, even though it started terribly.

"What's going on here, Jax?"- she asked finally, closing the magazine and tossing it on the coffee table. The pent up tension between them was exhausting her and she had to snap.

Jax looked at her as if confused. "I don't understand."

Tara glared at him. "I mean, what is happening here? I really thought we were trying to be friends. And here you are, coming late again even though you said you would try to come earlier. I do not take pleasure in staying home alone ever day. And I know you said you were going to spend time at Viv's, but calling me once in a while just to tell me you're doing ok wouldn't be so bad either."

Jax rotated his body so he was completely facing her.

He felt bad that he made her feel like this. Between SAMCRO business, his mother, and Vivian, it was difficult to get anything done.

Nero was in some negotiations with the Mayans regarding the arms they were supposed to help distribute, and that meant all hands on deck in securing that nothing went wrong, especially since the Niners organised a few attacks on them; his mother kept pestering him about his marriage and grandkids and taking more responsibilities within the club, which only made him angry at her for trying to control his life; and Vivian was working late shifts so the only time he could see her was just before she went to work.

His life was currently in complete havoc, getting complicated by the minute. The absolute last thing he wanted was to ruin the relationship he was building with Tara. He promised himself that he wouldn't let anything and anyone separate him from her this time, yet it seemed as though that wasn't going to be as easy as he thought.

"I'm sorry." – he said regretfully, but Tara continued talking, not letting him finish.

"We both said we were going to be friends, that we would try to stay tolerant to each other until we told everyone about the divorce. I never thought I would say this, but I like it here. I like your siblings, I like Nero, I even like Gemma although she's a bit overbearing sometimes. And even McKenna commented the other day that I don't sound so bleak anymore."

"Tara-" he raised his hand to indicate that he wanted to say something, but it didn't register with Tara.

She kept shaking her head in frustration, her face flushed as she gestured with her hands.

"I just don't understand! You're hot then you're cold, you're yes then you're no-"

Jax's eyes bulged then he began laughing. –"you're in then you're out, you're up then you're down!" –he sang through his laughter, tears streaming down his face.

Tara watched him in bemusement, thinking he was making fun of her.

"What?"

"It-it's a" – he began laughing again, unable to contain his laughter. H took a few breaths to calm himself. –"Sorry. It's a Katy Perry song. Hot 'n' cold."

Tara's face lit up as she too started laughing, albeit not as loud as Jax. "Oh my, it is! Wait, how do you know who Katy Perry is?"

"Trinity."- his answer was self-explanatory.

Tara just nodded and leaned against the couch. –"I'm still angry. Your whole attitude is puzzling me. I get that you're busy, but I'm new here. I know I can be a bitch sometimes. However, I kind of thought we're in this together. As long as it will last, but come on. We've already resolved many of our issues. I'm not saying I forgave you for your behaviour the first time we met, but that seems like ages ago. We're here now, in this mess, with your mother watching our every move and my parents' adamant efforts to see this as something great. I'm making an effort. Can't you try and make some too?" – she ended her monologue with a plea, making Jax realise how awful things must seem to Tara.

All this time he was making up excuses, stupid reasons why he didn't have time for her, when in reality it wasn't like that at all. If he truly wanted, he knew that nothing could stand in his way of making this 'marriage' work, for at least a while. So, what was stopping him from doing that?

"You're right. I'm an asshole, I admit. It's just... You know what, never mind me. From now on, I will make an effort, I promise. We are in this together, and I won't leave you alone again. Viv also told me that I tend to be closed off at times which results in people thinking I don't care. I want you to know that I do care. About you, our friendship. Even when this is over, I want us to be ok, to be friends."

His answer seemed to please Tara and she nodded in agreement. -"Thank you. Seeing how we're on the same page here, I'd like to say that I like Vivian very much. Judging form the stories I've heard about you, I would never in a billion years think you'd finds someone like her. She's quite awesome."

Jax grinned shyly, averting her gaze. –"Yeah, well, I'm lucky to have her. She's a good friend. And one of the rare people in my life who understand me."

"That's good, you know. To have someone who understands you, who know what you're going through and has your back." – her tone was sad as her thoughts wandered off to Rhydian.

Jax noticed her sudden change of mood and decided to end the topic. –"Soooo, what've you been up to?"

Tara shook her head to ward of sad thoughts. -"I Skyped with my brother and McKenna today. They're ok. I had quite a laugh with those two. Which reminds me; Finn asked me if I liked the wedding present he got for us, and it occurred to me that we haven't opened our wedding presents yet. Are you up for it?" – she nudged his shoulder playfully.

"Oh, right. Yeah. God know what's in there. Let's go."

###############################################################################

Two hours and about thirty presents later, Tara and Jax were lying on the floor, both groaning in pain.

Jax had gone to the garage and brought in the presents, while Tara cleared out the space in the living room so all the presents could fit in. Jax put them each down, then joined Tara who was sitting on the floor.

Now, they lay surrounded with wrapping paper, household appliances, crystal bowls and glasses, silverware, and books.

The books were McKenna's gift and were coupled with a note that she said she hoped they would inspire the newlyweds in their new and sexually prosperous life (Tara wanted to strangle her and Jax laughed his ass off as he leafed through the pages, showing her some of the drawings and reading some sentences that had her cheeks go crimson in shame (or she got slightly turned on, though just slightly because damn! Some of those poses were... no comment!)). Tara made a mental note to have a serious talk with McKenna regarding these books.

You see, they were not just some books. The first package contained a series of erotic novels, and as Tara flicked through one of them herself, she was left horrified at the description of a sex scene. She closed the book with a loud thumb and tossed it aside like it was on fire. Jax looked at her in amusement and wasted no time in teasing her, earning a death glare and the finger from Tara.

Jax on the other hand dealt with another package, also a present from McKenna, though this was just one book that had some weird picture on it, until he realised what it was. _So, McKenna bought them Kama Sutra._.. It seemed like Tara's cousin wasn't subtle at all. _The images were... Yeah he should probably close the book. Yeah..._

"Jax! I swear to God, if you do not put that dirty book down immediately- "

He jumped at the sound of her voice like a child caught with its hand in a cookie jar. "Fine, fine. It's gone. It's gone."

He was rather disappointed he didn't get to 'read' it properly. _Maybe later..._

There were still a few presents left unwrapped, but they were both exhausted and decided to take a break.

Ten minutes later, they continued their tedious task all the while discussing what they would do with all the stuff they got.

"Drumroll, please!" – Tara asked, as she began unwrapping the next present.

Jax made the drum roll sound, gesturing with his hands as if he was playing the drums. -"Who's it from?" – asked Jax, leaning over to get a better look.

"It says _'With all our love, Tig, Koz, Juice. Winkie face_.' " Tara opened the small box and gasped on horror.

"What?"

Tara turned the box upside down, emptying its content on the floor. Jax's mouth was agape as he looked at the sight before him.

"Are those handcuffs?" – he picked up the pink-furred handcuffs, his eyebrows curled, holding them between Tara and himself.

"Those sick fucks! They got us sex toys!" – cried Tara, looking at the display of a pair of handcuffs, a whip, a heart-shaped red pillow that had 'Liberator' written on it, two bottles of lube, a blindfold, and a pink feather with small black beads sawn on them.

"And sex candy, apparently." – Jax pointed at the edible man's underwear and women's bra amongst a collection of edible sex underwear.

Tara was furious. -"Those sick, perverted idiots! I'm going to kill them."

Jax tried to calm her but Tara was resolute to go to TM straight away and deal with the trio.

"You know... These look kind of yummy." – said Jax, taking one of the packages and opening it.

He wiggled his eyebrows at Tara, dangling the edible male thong made of jelly beans. –"I can put these on..."

Tara took the thong from him and plucked one of the beans. -"You crazy moron. I'm not letting my food anywhere near your genitalia." – she said through half laughter before she started eating the jelly beans.

Jax smirked at her and started plucking and eating the jelly beans with her.

"I can't believe they bought us this. I'm sooo going to have a talk with them." – Tara looked proudly at Jax, thinking he was serious in his attention, but her hopes were crushed when he finished his thought. - "These are definitely not my size."

Oh, the eye roll he earned from Tara! -"What? Too big for you?" – she teased, munching the last jelly bean.

He licked his sticky fingers.-" Ha ha ha. Wouldn't you like to know?"

They both continued to tease each other, when they heard someone opening the door. They both turned to see Vivian, dressed in her scrubs. She approached them tentatively, dropping her bag and her car keys on the couch.

"Hi, guys."

"Hi, Viv." – Tara greeted her warmly.

"What are you guys doing?" – she asked, looking around the room, her gaze stopping on the sex toys in front of them.

"They guys thought it funny to get us sex toys as a present." - replied Jax, amusement clear in his voice.

Vivian looked at the handcuffs then at Tara. Then they both burst out laughing. -"Seriously?"

Tara nodded. -"Would you care for some edible bra, ma'am?"

Vivian stroked her stomach. "You know, I am hungry." – she smiled.

-"Come then. These are delicious." – Tara invited her to join them.

Jax moved so that Vivian could sit next to him as Tara opened the package with a bra made of candy.

"Have at it."

And so the three of them had sex food for lunch, all the while making sex jokes and innuendos. By the time they were actually hungry for some really food, their stomachs were hurting from too much laughter, sex chocolate, and wine (Tara's favourite, Finn's present) that they could barely move, so they all lay unmovable on the floor, yet again groaning in pain.


	13. Important Notice

My dear readers,

I'd like to thank each and every one of you who took time to read, comment, favourite, and follow this story. It means the world to me to see that my efforts have not been in vain and that there are people out there who read what I write.

Now, I have an important notice four you all.

**This has been heavily edited form the original version.** I did that because I noticed that some of you misunderstood what I tried to show/tell you in this story, so I thought it best to edit it and correct my mistakes and give you a better insight into our heroes minds. Hence, there's been no update in months.

**What changed/what's new?**

Dialogues have been extended, some scenes have been changed and some new ones added, new information has been added and so forth in an attempt to make this story better than it was.

I strongly urge you to re-read it from the beginning with new eyes and possibly new opinions on it. I'd love for you to give me feedback since that's what motivates me.

Personally, I like this version more, but I'd love to read your opinions as well.

**In order not to cheat on reviews, any comments/thoughts/questions you have, I ask you politely to leave them in a private message** and I will do my best to respond.

The PM (private message) icon can be found in the top left corner of my profile page once you click on my name.

Looking forward to reading your comments.

Love,

\- Mimi


	14. Remembrance

**A/N: **Long time no read! Hi y'all :D I hope you're all doing great. The amount of reviews, follows, and favourites I got on this story and all my other stories is mind blowing. Thank you all so much :D

I've been having the most horrible writer's block where my brain just refuses to cooperate with me :( If this chapter feels a bit off, that's why. I decided to post this chapter just so I can at least move on with the story.

I hope you've all reread the chapters since quite a lot has changed, detail-wise and I think characters are more fleshed out.

As for the reviews:

Agnes, thank you soo much for your kind words 3

Guest who left me comments in Swedish (I used google translate to read it) – thank you very much, I'm happy to know my writing is keeping you interested in Jax/Tara stories :D

Gigi – you are right partly. Jax is scared of his feeling for Tara but I think future chapters will reveal just what he thinks and feels about her exactly.

Betsy – Don't worry, there will be no threesome. Not because I'm against it (Smoaking Billionaires, anyone (Arrow fandom)?), but I'm not into writing that.

These are my answers to the reviewers with no account on this page so I couldn't answer them directly. As for everyone else, I hope I answered your questions.

And for some people who kept pestering me about updates with no regards to me whatsoever and were extremely rude: I HAVE A LIFE! Nobody, including you, is paying me to write fanfiction. I write it for fun, so I can see what my imagination can do, so I could share my stories with other fans who I know will support me and be nice when asking about updates.

Again, I really can't tell you when the next update will be. Sorry :( Sorry if there are any typos.

Enjoy reading :D

* * *

_**Remembrance**_

"Mom, when can we go see Tara?" – six-year-old Jax asked, lifting his head from his colouring book featuring all types of motorcycles his father had bought him, a deep frown etched on his young forehead.

Gemma turned off the tap and picked up a towel to dry her hands, then turned to face her son with a serious expression on her face mixed with pain she tried to mask from him.

How could she explain to her little boy he would probably never see his friend again?

"Baby, I told you. We can't go anywhere now. Your dad and most of the MC went to visit your uncle Jury. We'll have to wait for him to come back then we'll see, 'key?" – she sat next to him, rubbing his back and giving him a strained smile. She felt horrible for lying to him, however, the prospect of truth was terrifying her even more. Everyone, including her, hoped Jax would forget about Tara over time.

"But, I've not seen her since like, foreveeeeer! I miss her! Can't you ask her mom and dad to let her come to us then?"- Jax was now pouting, frustration rising in his small body, his chest puffing.

It had been seven months and three days since he last saw Tara. He knew that because he'd been counting since the day they said their goodbyes. They were at the airport. Tara was crying and he was crying.

One minute their hands were entwined and he was hugging her so fiercely, afraid to let go of her lest she disappeared. She whispered 'wow you, Ja'son' into his chest so timidly he barely heard it; he heard it nevertheless.

Her face smelled of strawberries they had been eating before his mom came into his room that afternoon accompanied by Tara's dad who said they had to leave immediately.

He tried chasing after her, but his mom stopped him, locking him in her embrace as he screamed Tara's name. People turned heads to see who was yelling. Jax didn't care.

His mother was whispering something in his ear, caressing his dishevelled blond hair, but Jax was deaf to everything and everyone. His eyes and ears were trained on one person. Have been since he met her. And they were now taking her away from him. Away.

"Taraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" – he choked, sniffing back his tears that wouldn't stop streaming down his face; his cheeks were crimson and his throat hurt form all the yelling.

He saw her tear-stained cheeks, her heard her sobs and her calling out his name in the way that always made his little heart jump with glee in his chest. He saw her struggling against her father's firm grip as he rushed her towards the gate, her chestnut curls shaking around her head as she tried to wriggle her hand out of her father's, at the same time reaching with her other hand for Jax.

That had been seven months and three days ago and still, the image haunted him still. Jax had no idea why her family had to leave Charming in such a rush and why Tara couldn't have stayed with him. He didn't understand everything and that made him all the more angry.

Adults were selfish. And stupid.

For the following month, Jax would cry himself to sleep and ask for Tara, and every night his mother would sing him lullaby to sooth him, wrapping him in her arms and promising that he would talk to Tara.

He never heard from her or about her again. Not until his dad came to him with the craziest and probably the most unexpected proposition.

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Three months had passed since Tara Telford, now Tara Teller, moved from the gloomy and rainy London to sun-washed Charming, California.

Getting used to the change was hard, but she managed just fine, if you asked her. She owed her quick and almost painful adjustment to Trinity and Vivian most of all, who gave their very best to befriend her, making their girl power clique in the process.

They would organise weekly outings to the local spa (it felt like heaven to Tara!) where they would gossip and exchange life stories.

Trinity always had some fresh gossips about the MC members or some funny stories to share with them, and Vivian would tell them about the complicated network of one-night stands/relationships/awkward relations amongst the staff at the hospital.

Honestly, Tara thought that each of those stories could have served as the basis for a telenovela. As for her, she would tell them all about the stupid and odd habits of her boss aka The Devil, as they referred to him at the _Charming Daily_.

Some week following her arrival to Charming, Tara managed to find a job in the local newspaper. True, it was just a small office with a handful of employees and journalists, but Tara found it quite enjoyable. There was something about everything being set to a much slower pace than back home that made her feel comfier here in Charming.

And every time she'd catch herself referring to London as her home, she would always correct herself. This was her home now, at least for a foreseeable future, and these people her were her family, her friends. As much as she would like to say she hated it here, she knew she just couldn't. And that's the reason why McKenna kept laughing at her every time they would talk on the phone or on Skype, mentioning all the offensive names Tara had called Charming before she tied the knot with Jax.

Working at the _Charming Daily_ had its perks, like shorter working hours (it's was quite a small town and to no surprise, most of the big news concerning SAMCRO were swept under the rug), actually likable co-workers and surprisingly no creepers hitting on her. Though, Tara suspected it had more to do with who her husband was, rather than guys being nice and minding her marital status.

The down side of her new job: everyone, and that did indeed include ever single person in that office, had asked her about Jax or MC at least once. _What were they really like? How could she have moved to America just for the sake of marrying Jax? How long did they date before marrying and how come no one knew about her before? Was Jax ever violent to her? Was she afraid of SAMCRO?_

Tara knew SAMCRO was as great of a mystery to the locals as they were to her and in a way, she understood their curiosity. She was curious too, but she knew where to stop her inquiry and focus on something else before risking her life over some shady SAMCRO dealings.

Sometimes though, the questions would cross the line and Tara found herself defending the MC and Jax so fiercely, it felt contradictory to everything she had ever said about them. McKenna would definitely have a field day with this.

...

After her shift at the hospital had ended, Vivian came over to Tara and Jax's, something that became a ritual over the past month.

The girls became friends instantly. Tara appreciated their girl time, since McKenna was so far away and Tara missed her immensely, plus it was good having another woman for a friend when almost all the people she was surrounded by (since she came to Charming all those months ago) were SAMCRO members and their girls/wives/one-night stands, and Gemma and Trinity. Not much of a choice there (although, both Gemma and her daughter did everything they could to ensure no one messed with Tara; Gemma did everything over the top, but still, it was nice to know she was looking out for her.)

She plopped down onto the couch sighing loudly, pulling off her scrunchy as her thick chestnut hair fell around her shoulders. Tara put the laptop she was holding in her lap on the table, and offered her some beer and plopped back next to her, tucking her feet under her.

"By the look on your face, I'm guessing you had a tough day."

"Like you wouldn't believe. That dick Andrews has been insufferable the entire day, having me run from one part of the hospital to another because he always seemed to forget something. He's doing everything he can to torture me and for the life of me I don't know why."

Tara regarded her sympathetically, patting her shoulder. "I'm sorry, Viv. I know you've been working so hard. Based on what you've told me so far and by what I've seen, I think it would benefit you to take a break. Just for a week maybe, to relax, have fun, and not to think about anything."

Vivian raked her fingers through her curls, leaning back on the couch. - "I know, I know. I've been thinking the same thing this entire week. There's just so much work and sometimes I feel like my head's going to explode. I wish I could just disappear for a few days."

Tara smiled with a glint in her eyes as she readjusted in her seat.

"Talk to Jax and see what you can plan. I'm sure he can make some time for you in spite of all this club business going awry. Aaaand- "- she said more enthusiastically,- "I'll see when Trinity's free and we can go shopping! I seriously need to get out of here, it's starting to get boring with nothing to do and see here."

Vivian smiled back tiredly, a laugh escaping her lips. "Yeah, there's not much to do here in Charming."

Tara mouthed to say something when a sound was heard, notifying Tara someone was calling her on Skype. She leaned forward to read Rhydian's name on her laptop screen and her heart skipped a beat, her lips immediately stretching into a grin she tried to hide by biting her lip.

"Who's the hottie?" – exclaimed Vivian and scarring Tara who didn't notice her leaned so close, observing the picture.

"What hottie?"

"The blond one next to the other hottie who I already know is your brother."

Tara's cheeks redden and she gulped nervously, looking back and forth between the picture on the screen and Vivian.

"Oh. That's Rhydian." – even saying his name made her feel all giddy.

Brows furrowed, Vivian looked pensively at the picture. After a few moments, she spoke up. "Ok. His name means zero to me. Who's he to you? An old flame? Please don't tell me he too is your brother because this conversation would sound total weird, and I was definitely not going for that."

Tara laughed nervously, already coming up with the most ridiculous excuses about him and their relation to each other. She could say he was just one of SAMBEL member, an old friend of Finn's. She could say he was just one of her father's lawyers who needed her to sing something or who wanted to discuss something with her.

Lying would be easy.

However, here's the thing: Tara was a terrible liar. She was great at keeping secrets and she thought of herself as a good advisor. But for the life of her she couldn't lie. There were so many memories of her childhood and teenage years she could call to mind where Finn and Rhydian had got in trouble simply because her lies weren't convincing enough and because her facial expression always betrayed her.

Tara now debated whether to tell Vivian the truth or maybe tell a lie and pray she became a better and more believable liar.

She presumed Vivian would support her and be understanding 'cause that's just who she was. At the same time, Tara feared if she didn't say anything Vivian would just keep asking her (there was just a slight chance of that, but still) and what if Gemma overheard that? She would raise hell and God only knows what she would do (Tara still had a vivid image of Gemma's confrontation with Vivian when she found her in their house once).

"Ok, I'm going to tell you but you absolutely have to promise never to mention him unless we're alone. Like, never ever ever!"

She was well aware she probably sounded panicky, maybe even crazy, but the prospect of being interrogated by Gemma, having her pry into the most private parts of her life, was terrifying her.

Vivian rolled her eyes. "I swear. Now tell me!"

Tara quickly typed Rhydian she would call him later then closed her laptop and sat back. She was biting on her thumb nervously and looked almost shy.

"He's... He was my first crush. I've known him since... forever. He's Finn's best friend and the four of us, we've always been together. I didn't really like him at first, but over time I guess I just fell in love with him. When I went to study in England, he would always visit me and bring me presents. Just small tokens of his friendship, even though we both knew it wasn't just friendship between us."

Her voice gave out her emotions, deep and innocent. As she spoke, her face softened and Vivian noticed her hesitating for a second, maybe not ready to share all her feeling for the guy just yet. She encouraged her to continue talking.

"So, are you in a secret relationship? Why haven't you mentioned him before?"

"I never wanted to fall for someone who's a member. Technically speaking, he's not but he's still working for my dad and it's just... I hate that world, this world. All the violence, killings... My whole life I've been trying to escape it. Rhydian doesn't want to leave that life because he feels gratitude to my family for embracing him when his parents were killed."

Vivian nodded in understanding, taking Tara's hand. "Does he love you?"

"Yeah. He loves me and I love him, but we've never managed to make it work." – she smiled, on the brink of crying.

Talking about Rhydian was always a sore subject for Tara, as she always tried to mask her feelings on front of everyone.

"How does he feel about this arrangement, your marriage to Jax?" - Vivian asked carefully.

Tara sniffed. "What do you think? He hates it. Rhydian is stoic and sometimes seems like he doesn't care because he acts cold and distant. That's how people see him. When he's with me though, he's different. And when he talks to me... I can hear the pain in his voice. We were saying our goodbyes at the airport before I came here and he was barely holding it."

She still remembered him pulling her to the side and tentatively caressing her cheek, silently conveying his thoughts to her.

_It hurt him she was leaving._

_It hurt him he wasn't doing anything to fight this absurd decision._

_It hurt him he couldn't leave SAMBEL._

It hurt her he could leave her.

She remembered his arms wrapped around her, the smell of his cologne enveloping her, his lips against her cheek as he whispered 'I love you'. She was crying and was pretty much sure he was fighting tears as well since his voice was unusually raspy.

Something in her mind had flashed at that moment, like remembrance of some other airport goodbye she had had, though the memory was foggy and unreachable.

Vivian's voice brought her back to reality. - "I'm sorry for the way things turned out. I've been saying to Jax, this whole idea is so stupid. You're adults, why should anyone run your lives?"

"I miss him so much, Viv. It's getting harder every time I speak to him. I wish I could just leave. Leave all this and go back home."

Tara leaned her head on Vivian's shoulder as the other consoled her, her voice soothing Tara.

"I know, sweetie. Don't worry. I'm sure Jax's plan will work. When they see you're not into each other, that things can be resolved differently, your parents will most definitely let go of this idea. Then you can go back to your Prince Charming and live happily ever after."

They both laughed at Vivian's words.

"Vivian, I never knew you were such a romantic."

She just shrugged dramatically. -"What can I see. Love is magical and I'm a sucker for romance."

Little did they know that the following year would put their friendships, love, romance, and their princes to the test and result in a catastrophe.

(Don't forget to review. XO)


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